Love Like I Do - Writers Forum

Gnomes Amok · 04-23-2008, 01:42 AM

we kiss in the dark, we kiss in the light
we hold off the darkness when i hold you at night
you say you love me, i say i love you
but you dont love the same
no, not like i do

we've known each other for such a long time
i know all you're secrets, you know all mine
i will do anything, anything for you
and you wont love the same
no, not like i do

you take my confident stride, make me stumble
you break my overplayed pride, make me humble
you're like this beacon of perfect, blinding light
that when shed on my eyes makes my wrongs appear right

our minds are alike, our hearts so similiar
and our souls they match, like they were made for each other
if only that could change, what i know to be true
that you dont love the same,
no, not like i do

i dont blame you, its not a matter of fault
id never have you pretend to be something you're not
when what you are let me feel something new
the love that stitches me
tears me in two

you take my confident stride, make me stumble
you break my overplayed pride, make me humble
you're like an angel before an unrepentant sinner
you're holy touch burns, but to hold you id burn forever

you take my confident stride, make me stumble
you break my overplayed pride, make me humble
and thats why you'll never love like i do
because ive idolized everything about you

like an old-time movie
like a fabled romance
thats what our love would be like
if we gave it the chance
dont take it from me
take it from you
your soul and my soul
what more can we do?
opportunity of a lifetime
waiting at your door
i am real, i am ready
to make you whole once more
i will whisper my strength
youll never strain to hear
when you feel far gone
i will always be near

Kyper · 04-23-2008, 04:14 AM

Wow...

It's has so many meaningful moments...

Have you got a band to play this with, or would you be willing to write lyrics for me, because thats a good song in my eyes.

"you're holy touch burns, but to hold you id burn forever"

When i read this bit i got a back shiver, i love music and have wanted to start a band since i was young, but nobody never wanted to start one. And now with a baby it makes it a tad more difficult.

But, this does have a few contradictory bits, such as:

"the love that stitches, me tears me in two"

A love that stitches, as in stitches you together. But then it also tears you apart. Is that what it's supposed to be saying, because i just realized that.

And even this bit here at the end of each individual verse except the fourth:

"no, not like i do"

This adds a nice finishing touch to the verse.

Overall........................................... .................................................. ...............
.................................................. .................................................. .................
.................................................. .................................................. AWESOME!!!

I like it....lots.

Mystery · 04-23-2008, 11:42 AM

Bravo Maestro, another excellent example of high-quality lyricist.

Only one line needs a little tweaking,

"you're like an angel before an unrepentant sinner
you're holy touch burns, but to hold you id burn forever"

IT feels odd spoken, it's a mistake remedied by music, but you might want to look in on making the second line smoother.

Angel's lie · 04-29-2008, 02:03 PM

Wow, that was awesome. I loved it.

my favorite parts was 'you take my confident stride, make me stumble
you break my overplayed pride, make me humble'

Because that's often what love can do to a person, and also I just liked the rhyming of the words.
It's like when I'm writing, and you get that sudden burst of creativity and the words start to go together.

Sorry for my ramblings. But excellent job.

T.W. North · 05-03-2008, 12:58 AM

...I disagree with mystery that that line needs fixing, its probably my favourite line in the song. The line for me that needs fixing is:

that when shed on my eyes makes my wrongs appear right

^you use too many awkward wording, 'appear' would be better as 'seem' and 'shed on my eyes' is just..blocky. And all apart from the first half of the first verse seem badly worded (not chorus or bridge, just rest of first verse and the second verse'. Re-word them to be less straightforward, more poetic and you'll be spot on.

kingajcice · 05-03-2008, 04:53 PM

I liked it. personally, not quite as much the first verse, I feel like I've heard it far too many times in love songs, but I can see how it might be a bit unavoidable with this song of course.