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Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

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Old 04-15-2008, 03:25 PM   #1
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Carry the Sun

I am really unsure about this, so if anybody can help me out with it, that'd be great. Like any kinds of criticism, on how to organize this idea or anything like that.
___
(Verse)
And I can’t seem to find my way home,
I just can’t see what’s out there anymore.
Taking my sweet time down this lonely road,
Towards some lonesome destination.

(Chorus)
Let me fall as far as I can,
Let me find the trigger side of a gun,
Won’t you let me try to carry the sun?

(Verse)
Dirt and dust kick up beneath my feet,
Preventing me from fighting sanity
There is no day and there is no night,
There’s nothing left in my lonely life.


(Repeat Chorus)

(Verse)
You know my name; you’ve seen me fight,
Don’t ever think I’d take that bite:
Instead, I’d shoot out at the world.

(Bridge)
It doesn’t make much sense to me,
I don’t think it’d make that much to you.
There is no box to think outside,
There’s only what you have and that’s enough.

(Repeat Chorus)

(Ending)
You can’t have nothing,
You can’t live for eternity,
These simple truths are just of many,
Take your time and let me carry the sun.
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Last edited by Crash_Tomas : 04-15-2008 at 07:28 PM.
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Old 04-16-2008, 04:40 PM   #2
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I like it, one thing though, starting a song with And
Quote:
And I can’t seem to find my way home
, what else can't you seem to do??? It makes it sound like a middle line more than an opening line...I hope I don't seem rude/offensive or anything...Like I said, I really like the song though...
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Old 04-16-2008, 05:22 PM   #3
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no worries, mate. I didn't know there was some law against starting a song with "and"

It kind of is supposed to be revealed in the song, as to why. Something I needed to get out. I figured, the listener can decide the meaning, and as I said in the above, I wasn't sure of this. So, thanks for commenting and the feedback.
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"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."

"Broken Promises and Endless Lies, Mindless Guesses and Darkened Skies..." -Thanks Tham~
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Old 04-16-2008, 06:02 PM   #4
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Yeah...

Sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem wrong to start a song with and, its just I'm not used to it so it...surprised me...But, I get what you mean now...
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Old 04-17-2008, 08:20 PM   #5
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That's fine, I appreciate any feedback I can get.

Thanks again. Anybody else have any tips to make this better?
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"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."

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