Spatial Inequalities - Writers Forum

T.W. North · 04-13-2008, 09:27 PM

Ignore whatever you can see
It's only spatial inequalities
Learn to spell each disaster
So one day you'll do better
Make sure your pen is sharp
We're writing about a war

We sit and watch the world
Through tinted windows
We read and learn the world
Through listed statistics

We know nothing, we're academic
We fight with words, we're an epidemic

Spare a moment of empathy
Then forget about the damned
Please keep your hands clean of blood
You're going home to your mum

It doesn't matter if you can't see it
It doesn't hurt anyone if you don't know

We sit and watch the world
Through tinted windows
We read and learn the world
Through listed statistics

We know nothing, we're academic
We fight with words, we're an epidemic

Leave it to the grown ups
They know best
Read so much more than us

We know nothing, we're academic

ThePhoenix · 04-14-2008, 04:35 PM

I like it...I don't fully understand it, but I like it none the less...

thamior · 04-16-2008, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.W. North

Ignore whatever you can see
It's only spatial inequalities
Learn to spell each disaster
So one day you'll do better
Make sure your pen is sharp
We're writing about a war
Interesting thought an image. It's not "amazing" to me, but it's not bad either.

We sit and watch the world
Through tinted windows Tinted windows? Rose tinted? Black Tinted?
We read and learn the world
Through listed statistics
I can see where you're going, but you do it in a very abstract and confusing way. Might want to look at it again and see if there's not another way to say it.

We know nothing, we're academic
We fight with words, we're an epidemic
Interesting, we know nothing because we're academic. I assume it means we're book smart, but we have shit for common sense or "real-world" intelligence.

Spare a moment of empathy
Then forget about the damned
Please keep your hands clean of blood
You're going home to your mum
Possibly jibbing at what you see as false attempts to reach out on our part?

It doesn't matter if you can't see it
It doesn't hurt anyone if you don't know
The message of ignoring what goes on in the world is a clear one, you've certainly laid that down.

We sit and watch the world
Through tinted windows
We read and learn the world
Through listed statistics

We know nothing, we're academic
We fight with words, we're an epidemic

Leave it to the grown ups
They know best
Read so much more than us

We know nothing, we're academic
Ah ha, I sense some sarcasm here, possibly?

I liked it. I think you could work on some clearer images for some parts. Mind you, don't tell the reader, you've done a good job of avoiding that so far. But there are definitely some places where the wording is supposed to give one impression, I believe, but merely throws things off.

T.W. North · 04-16-2008, 11:39 PM

Tinted, as in the ones you can see out of but they can't see you. Im also under the impression that that makes it slightly darker viewing from the inside, but I don't know for sure. But, yeah, I like to be abstract, its what I do. Surely you would have figured that out by now xD. Btw, could you point out the sections where I lead people in the wrong direction?

somebodytoldme · 04-17-2008, 05:23 AM

Love it! Clever.

somebodytoldme · 04-17-2008, 05:24 AM

The first verse is the best part.

thamior · 04-17-2008, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.W. North

We know nothing, we're academic
We fight with words, we're an epidemic

You give some clarification towards the end, which is good, but it's still left very unexplained here.

Quote:

It doesn't matter if you can't see it
It doesn't hurt anyone if you don't know

I think you left "it" purposefully unexplained, but it also makes the use of the word to be slightly confusing.

Quote:

We sit and watch the world
Through tinted windows

Alright, but why? What are these tinted windows? I like the image, I get its place in the song, but there's a lot of good material in elaboration here... what the heck are our tinted windows? (in the abstract, symbolic sense of course)

Quote:

We read and learn the world
Through listed statistics

This also interested me, but it's just so vague and "listed statistics" while making grammatical sense, just seems awkward to me, lists of statistics? I don't know...

Quote:

Leave it to the grown ups
They know best
Read so much more than us

This implies us is not the grown ups. But, knowing little of you, I'm not quite sure who "us" is. Is it all of the youth? Rebellious youth? what?

It really isn't a bad lyric so don't get the impression that I think anything negative of it, I just want to see more.

T.W. North · 04-17-2008, 08:58 PM

Hmm, okay, I'd better explain the youth part of it - I'm talking from the sense of school, and specifically to my sort of school, a select...'smart'...school. This was mainly inspired because a few weeks ago in Geography we were taught about 'spatial inequalities', the difference between rich and poor, which I thought was rubbish. It's rich and poor, why all these technical terms for basic things? Seems a bit too academic and distanced. So yeah. So 'we' is the students learning all this. Tinted windows simply means we're seperated from the real world.

Damien. · 05-16-2008, 08:29 AM

I LOVE it! SOOO good.

Mystery · 05-16-2008, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.W. North

Hmm, okay, I'd better explain the youth part of it - I'm talking from the sense of school, and specifically to my sort of school, a select...'smart'...school. This was mainly inspired because a few weeks ago in Geography we were taught about 'spatial inequalities', the difference between rich and poor, which I thought was rubbish. It's rich and poor, why all these technical terms for basic things? Seems a bit too academic and distanced. So yeah. So 'we' is the students learning all this. Tinted windows simply means we're seperated from the real world.

I don't mean to crush your bubble, but spatial inequalities doesn't refer to there being poor and rich, it refers to the gap between them, thats why we have a difference term, in economics we have wealth distribution, another similar sounding term with a different meaning.

The only problem is that big long winded terms like "spatial inequalities" never really work with lyrics, or so thats how i perceive them.

Tom · 05-16-2008, 03:43 PM

I personally think the Lyrics work well with the subject, and create a good and firm image in your head. I like it. Alot.

Tom.

T.W. North · 05-17-2008, 01:57 AM

Mystery, thats waht I said. Read your quote of me again, I say 'the difference between rich and poor'. As in, the amount between, mathematically, y'know. Which is a gap.

And yeah, while big words often don't work, for me, spatial inequalities just seems to roll of the tounge and when the syllables are spaced a bit.

Mystery · 05-18-2008, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.W. North

Mystery, thats waht I said. Read your quote of me again, I say 'the difference between rich and poor'. As in, the amount between, mathematically, y'know. Which is a gap.

Then your comment puzzles me even more, I assumed you were talking about rich and poor as opposed to the gap because thats the only way it would make sense(to me) for you to not understand the language.

Remember, you are a poet of sorts, your trade is in your language, don't undermine it.

T.W. North · 05-19-2008, 04:44 AM

Wha? I don't get what you mean. If you mean in the song..it makes perfect sense, 'ignore what you see, its only spatial inequalites'...obviously I'm saying the bridge between the rich and poor is getting wider and no-ones seems to notice it.