You - Writers Forum

silent-wish · 03-28-2008, 01:24 PM

You saved me from the dark
You didn't even know
You saved me from my broken heart
I don't know what to do
You saved me from my nightmare
You didn't even know
You saved me from my fear
I don't know what to do

[Chorus]
The sun is rising again
The ice is melting
A new dawn is about to begin
Rain has stopped raining
This could be the day
That i break free
Going down the right way
Not going astray

You gave me a whole new dream
You must have known
You showed me a whole new theme
I'm not afraid anymore
You swept me off my feet
You must have known
You gave my heart a whole new beat
I'm not afraid any more

[Chorus]
The sun is rising again
The ice is melting
A new dawn is about to begin
Rain has stopped raining
This could be the day
That i break free
Going down the right way
Not going astray

[Oh baby] I'm so glad that you came into my world
[Oh baby] I'm so happy that I'm your girl
Not one minute goes by that i don't think of you
And the way that you do what you do
You added colour to the grey
I know there can be no other way
You rescued me from the crossroad
When i was so confused

[Chorus]
The sun is rising again
The ice is melting
A new dawn is about to begin
Rain has stopped raining
This could be the day
That i break free
That i break free

What do you think?

Damian_Rucci · 04-07-2008, 04:36 PM

I like it a lot. However, the first verse seems to not have any pattern unlike the second verse, or I may be looking over it. I like the chorus a lot as well.

kingajcice · 04-07-2008, 10:36 PM

I personally would listen to this song for about until the end of the first time it played the chorus, in poems I don't see any reason to HAVE to rhyme, but in music, depending on what kind of music this is supposed to be, it's better for the flow of things to have words that go together. I personally don't think the verses are as bad as the chorus, and I wouldn't be surprised to find multiple people who love it, but for me I just think that if the song doesn't flow together, either it shouldn't be a song, or it should be rewritten to do so.

Just my opinion.

silent-wish · 04-11-2008, 11:51 AM

thank you
im don't write lyrics a lot... i prefer writing long stories. Lyrics are like a diversion when my mind dowsn't work.
but thank you that helped

silent-wish · 04-11-2008, 11:51 AM

thank you
im don't write lyrics a lot... i prefer writing long stories. Lyrics are like a diversion when my mind dowsn't work.
but thank you that helped

silent-wish · 04-11-2008, 11:54 AM

oops ..... too many mistakes :/

kaytea111 · 04-11-2008, 02:27 PM

love it

awesome!
cant wait to read more

- kate your-fave-betch

Mystery · 04-12-2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kingajcice

I personally would listen to this song for about until the end of the first time it played the chorus, in poems I don't see any reason to HAVE to rhyme, but in music, depending on what kind of music this is supposed to be, it's better for the flow of things to have words that go together. I personally don't think the verses are as bad as the chorus, and I wouldn't be surprised to find multiple people who love it, but for me I just think that if the song doesn't flow together, either it shouldn't be a song, or it should be rewritten to do so.

Just my opinion.

Uh uh...

Your opinion, or personal viewpoint, doesn't mean shit in any art form but your own, ever.
Wait, no, don't skip ahead and say "well excuse me I did say it was just my opinion", because that is where your fault is, ever heard of neutrality, you might know it as objectivity as well.

You criticize lyrics as an art form, not on preference sir.