Cry - Writers Forum

Angel101 · 02-29-2008, 04:54 PM

This is a song I wrote a while back. The point was to be simple about it. I love simple songs. Don't know why. xD Anyway, I do have a piano part written for this. I actually came up with it before I wrote lyrics. It's also simple. Since I knew I'd be putting vocals with it, I didn't want it to detract from them by being overly complicated. (I'll post the full version once I get a better recording.) Here's the link to the piano part:

Video of Cry - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Cry

Your shadow's there
Imagine my surprise,
I don't care...anymore
This slave you've shackled,
She is not me,
She is not me

But see
I cannot cry
Cannot...
Cry, cry, cry

You see, the tears aren't falling;
You hurt me
Where is my humanity?
With you
Oh, yes, I forgot
You stole me,
You stole me

Almost too long ago to remember,
Remember your eyes
As you let me die
Let me die
Let me die
Let me...

Cry, cry, cry
You see, the tears aren't falling;
You hurt me
I can't take it anymore
Anymore

Beneath me, your words,
They swell
But I can't feel
In this hollow shell

How can I let go?
Where is my way out?
I can't scream outloud
But I'm screaming--let me go

Let it be done now
The tears have died now,
And I don't know how,
But you've won

I am done--no more fighting
I've got nothing left
You've shattered me to death

I hope you cry

Chris71 · 03-02-2008, 10:44 AM

I listened to the music for your song last night, it was very nice. Will wait for the lyrics and music together when you are ready. Is the song about breaking up?
Since most of my songs are fairly simple in the lyrics, I have a hard time trying to
figure out what direction some writers are going. Maybe to deep for me.

Angel101 · 03-02-2008, 01:03 PM

Not necessarily. You'd have to really know me to know what this piece is about, but I guess you could say it's about breaking up. It's just a deeper form of breaking up, if you will.

Gnomes Amok · 03-02-2008, 01:41 PM

Hahaha, is this a joke song?

This is trite, this is beeeyoond played out, where is the innovation? The emotion? It is completely absent.

You need to take your whole thought process back to the drawing board, find a new way to express yourself - these concepts provoke nothing. This song is a mold.

Angel101 · 03-02-2008, 02:03 PM

Maybe for you, but it isn't for me. Oh, well. You're entitled to your own opinion. I just don't agree because it DOES provoke something inside of me when I sing it and when I play it because of what it's about. But, of course, I really don't expect people understand the nature of it; and that's fine. You don't have to understand it or like it. I won't lose any sleep over it.

kaytea111 · 03-03-2008, 06:08 PM

I think the song is too simple.
lawl
add more indepth and imagery.
good luck

Angel101 · 03-04-2008, 03:16 PM

Thanks for the comment, but I disagree. As I said, the point was to be simple. Recently, lyrics have become overly-complicated to the point that we expect everything to be a molding of imagery that makes no sense anyway. (In my opinion.) Lyrics are written for music. We all know that. More often than not, the power of a song is in the music.

Your Song by Elton John is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful songs ever written. Are the lyrics filled with imagery and complex metaphors? Nope. Simple. Straightforward. Perfect. The power of that piece is in the melody and in the instrumental parts.

But those are just my thoughts and opinions on the matter. We all have different tastes when it comes to style. No one is right or wrong here.

kaseyisrad · 03-09-2008, 03:24 AM

I like it, just because its simple, doesnt make it bad.
btw; your song by elton john is amazing.