Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Lyrics
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-16-2007, 05:34 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 11
Suavely_Sam is on a distinguished road
Untitled

So let go, don’t let me bring you down
You’re better at this game,
You throw the punches, I take the hits
This is the very last time you’ll ever clench a fist

If I could bring it back to life,
Trust me, I would
But who’s to trust here?
I wouldn’t stop this if I could
Don’t think we’ll ever be the same,
The evidence still leaves a stain

[Chorus]
Because heroes save the day,
But trust me, I’m no hero
And there’s nothing left to say
Just do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane


This is no time for cat and mouse,
You know you’re better at this game
I’ll never find out how the story ends,
It stops here, does it really stop here?

I wouldn’t do this if not with a reason,
So get back on that stage,
Something in the script has finally changed,
You can’t miss the part where I walk away

[Chorus]
Because heroes save the day,
But trust me, I’m no hero
And there’s nothing left to say
Just do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane


It’d be shame to forget to say this…
You’ve gotta show them what it really feels like
It’d be a shame to forget to say this…
You’ve gotta show them what it really feels like

(Getting out before they find the ending…
Just don’t forget that you’ve got nothing left to find)

[Chorus]
Because heroes save the day,
But trust me, I’m no hero
And there’s nothing left to say
Just do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane


I just wrote this... I don't really know if it's good or not or what should change. So I want to know your HONEST opinion.
Suavely_Sam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 11:42 PM   #2
Best Seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 585
T.W. North is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to T.W. North
Yeah, you never can tell if its good or not straight after writing can you? Always gotta let it mellow.

Well, personally I like it. The chorus is great, the verses are solid and the bridge is catchy and somewhat heart rending. Maybe I'm just in a sooky mood though. Anyway, there is one line I'd change:
It stops here, does it really stop here?
Now, some things work when you repeat them, but 'stop here' isn't really one of them unfortunately. Anyway, apart from that it works quite well as a power ballad. Nice stuff.

Oh, as for a title, how about:

Save the Day
T.W. North is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:29 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers