Destroy my angel - Writers Forum

Revenge · 11-15-2007, 11:25 PM

Destiny, its cold touch, this wreckage
That it has solely created
Fate that sets you apart when you break
But can't be trusted, must be debated

I wanna see inside of you,
If these words you speak are true
Are the wounds you caused just your pain
That you destroy by inflicting them on me?

Destiny, its cold touch, this wreckage
That it has solely created
Fate that sets you apart when you break
But can't be trusted, must be debated

To destroy my angel is beyond me
If I live in happiness with out you
Then what you say is true
But I can't live with out your clarity

I want to be everything to you
But make it all bigger to me
And take me a deeper than thieves
That are just dying to-
To destroy my angel, this is blaspemy
To destroy my angel is beyond me
If I live with out happiness
And what you say is this
"I am your breath with out me you fall"
Then when I am nothing, on your name I call

Destiny, its cold touch, this wreckage
That it has solely created
Fate that sets you apart when you break
But can't be trusted, must be debated

winner · 11-17-2007, 08:42 AM

A very catchy title. It pulled me to your thread. I am a little lost in your writing, though. You have deep thoughts that takes time for a reader to understand.

Shavixmir · 11-18-2007, 07:54 AM

I agree with Winner. It is a catchy title and it is difficult material.
Take the reoccurring text, for example:

Quote:

Destiny, its cold touch, this wreckage
That it has solely created
Fate that sets you apart when you break
But can't be trusted, must be debated

Destiny and fate are matters beyond your control. There's nothing you can do about such things. Is the reader (or listener in this case) to suppose that what's happening is a set piece, a car crash which can't be avoided?
Why debate it then? Why can't you trust something that is a given fact? I find it very unclear.

I do like your comparing the love interest to an angel. And I do like the concept of having to destroy your angel and it not being in your control to do otherwise.
However, it's unclear if this is what you actually mean.