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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
11-11-2007, 05:07 PM
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#1
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
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Song- Untouchable Today
(Verse)
Havoc rides on a black train,
Towards a great land unknown to most.
I see it riding towards a brilliant sunrise,
Red with grief and green with jealousy.
(Chorus)
I’ll never claim to be unbreakable,
Sure as hell won’t be unbeatable,
But I’m untouchable…Today.
(Verse)
Death rides soundly by Havoc’s side,
Their train plowing along the rails,
Towards my current position.
They’re coming for me.
(Chorus)
I’ll never claim to be unbreakable,
Sure as hell won’t be unbeatable,
But I’m untouchable…Today.
(Verse)
The black train blows its whistle,
Letting out a long trail of smoke,
Spewing over the side and fading away.
It reminds me of my past and what once was.
(Chorus)
I’ll never claim to be unbreakable,
Sure as hell won’t be unbeatable,
But I’m untouchable…Today.
(Bridge)
That train will never take me.
Will never be able to break me.
It will not even shake me.
Because I am untouchable…Today.
(Verse)
Havoc and Death are only men.
I am not afraid of them or what they do.
They stand for everything I am against,
And today, I am taking them on.
(Chorus)
I’ll never claim to be unbreakable,
Sure as hell won’t be unbeatable,
But I’m untouchable…Today.
I’m untouchable Today…
__________________
I'm Gonna Be A Modern Day Drifter...
"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."
"Broken Promises and Endless Lies, Mindless Guesses and Darkened Skies..." -Thanks Tham~
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11-12-2007, 12:56 PM
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#2
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
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haha, story of my life. a bunch of views and no comments... funny.
__________________
I'm Gonna Be A Modern Day Drifter...
"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."
"Broken Promises and Endless Lies, Mindless Guesses and Darkened Skies..." -Thanks Tham~
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11-12-2007, 05:29 PM
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#3
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Addict
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Hiding!
Posts: 134
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actually, I really like this! Not sure how to read it. Would you make it fast paced, slow, etc...?
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11-12-2007, 05:35 PM
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#4
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
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changes a couple times. Some parts are slow then pick up and vice versa.
__________________
I'm Gonna Be A Modern Day Drifter...
"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."
"Broken Promises and Endless Lies, Mindless Guesses and Darkened Skies..." -Thanks Tham~
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11-12-2007, 05:36 PM
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#5
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Addict
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Hiding!
Posts: 134
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got it. It really does sound good in my head.
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11-13-2007, 01:36 AM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ny
Gender: Male
Posts: 279
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i don't know.
feels too specific.
Death referred to directly is usually not very effective.
death is good metaphor-fodder.
personification is kind of lame, too.
__________________
Eat shit and poop it out, then repeat ten million times til you become a saggy old basset hound.
www.myspace.com/jakeharms
for music, writing stuff
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11-13-2007, 09:38 AM
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#7
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
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well, I love you too, surface.
Point of Death and Havoc isn't exactly Death and Havoc. Supposed to be a metaphor within a metaphor. If that makes any sense at all...though I suppose it doesn't.
anyway, thanks for telling me your opinion.
__________________
I'm Gonna Be A Modern Day Drifter...
"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."
"Broken Promises and Endless Lies, Mindless Guesses and Darkened Skies..." -Thanks Tham~
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11-13-2007, 01:23 PM
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#8
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ny
Gender: Male
Posts: 279
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Sorry. It was late.
Love all 'round.
Someday I'll post another song so you can take a giant dump on it too.
__________________
Eat shit and poop it out, then repeat ten million times til you become a saggy old basset hound.
www.myspace.com/jakeharms
for music, writing stuff
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11-13-2007, 02:45 PM
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#9
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Writer
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Europe-Croatia-Zagreb
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
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May I have a wild guess about the theme?
It sounds, almost, like it's about the delusion of immortality people get after going through a horrible disaster (plane crash or something) almost unscathed.
The motive of the train, and the "untouchable" protagonist, kinda sent me in that direction.
Am I close?
__________________
Sarcasm is just another service we offer.
And by the way, we prefer the term
morally challenged.
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11-13-2007, 04:16 PM
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#10
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 673
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surfacetoday
Sorry. It was late.
Love all 'round.
Someday I'll post another song so you can take a giant dump on it too.
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lol, no worries mate~
oh, and Azram, you are close. Good job!
__________________
I'm Gonna Be A Modern Day Drifter...
"Life is Like a Novel With the End Ripped Out."
-Rascal Flatts, "Stand."
"Broken Promises and Endless Lies, Mindless Guesses and Darkened Skies..." -Thanks Tham~
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