Gallaxy

My oldest and best friend died some time ago in an unfortunate accident. His sister and I have since become very close, and this is a song i wrote for her.

I see a sad soul in your eyes
I hear heart ache in your cries
I know that you;r hurting inside
a part of your whole spirit has died
you sit alone at night and you cry
rock yourself asking him, why?
a part of your flesh and blood torn away
your spirit gets weaker with every day
but I’m telling you now that there’s hope
so untie the noose from that rope
reach out and take my hand
girl please try to understand…

[CHORUS]
Every time you cry
he catches your tears
tells you he loves you
whispers in your ears
don’t say that he’s gone
‘cause hes right by your side
and he wants you to see
that his soul never died
reach out to him when your scared
he’ll show you that he always cared
your never alone
he’s always there.

I know you think you’ll fade away
a piece of you dies every day
close your eyes and open your heart
realize you were never apart
hold your son, look into his eyes
catch his tears whenever he cries
a piece of his uncle is living inside
girl his spirit didn’t die
open your mind and open your soul
once again your life will be whole
reach out and take my hand
girl please try to understand…

[CHORUS]
Every time you cry
he catches your tears
tells you he loves you
whispers in your ears
don’t say he’s gone
‘cause he’s right by your side
and he wants you to see
that his soul never died
reach out to him when your scared
he’ll show you that he always cared
your never alone
he’s always there.

He’s always there whenever you cry
he hears the truth whenever you lie
he sees the light when dark is nigh
he feels your warmth when you pass by
open your heart and soon you shall see
just how bright your world can be
stop the tears that flood your eyes
wipe them away and look to the skies
your baby brother’s watching you
don’t deny you feel it too

[CHORUS]
Every time you cry
he catches your tears
tells you he loves you
whispers in your ears
don’t say he’s gone
‘cause he’s right by your side
and he wants you to see
that his soul never died
reach out to him when your scared
he’ll show you that he always cared
your never alone
he’s always there.

Free the pain you hold within
push it out, dont let it in
free the pain you hold within
push it out, dont let it in.

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Harlett

This is a very touching piece Gallaxy. It is well written and flows quite well in my opinion.

I really liked it. Very emotive and a very beautiful and powerful message has been portrayed here. Lovely.

surfacetoday

Quite dippy and cliche.
The subject is so personal, and interesting, yet the reactions here portrayed are shown in such a typical light.

But, truthfully, dealing with death is difficult.
You do not want to cross the line from emotional into cheesy and solicitous, but desire to make it heartfelt. I would suggest using real events for deeper, more original imagery... and canning the 'open your mind' crap.

Good luck.

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Eat shit and poop it out, then repeat ten million times til you become a saggy old basset hound.

JollyMinstrel

This would be a great song in a Hallmark or Lifetime Channel movie...seriously. As a songwriter, I can feel the melodical rhythm of the words and where the crescendos and modulations would be. In the right circumstances, there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house.

(one suggestion: check the use of "your" and "you're" .. it's actually a very important difference.

Great Job!

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