Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
11-04-2007, 05:42 PM
|
#1
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In a cardboard box!
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
|
Just one more
Just one more hug and I will be alright,
Just one more person that cares,
Just one more love and I will be whole,
Just one more person there,
Just one more raindrop to fall,
Just one thing to break my heart,
Just one more storm to roll in,
Just one person isn't there,
Oh, life can lead you on,
Oh, life can bring you on,
(Chorus)
For now I'm just gonna live the way I am,
If its gonna get bad I will push on,
But one more thing to say,
Just one more thing on my mind,
Why don't you stay??
Just one more kick and I will be down,
Just one more force of anger and pain,
Just one my helping hand and I will be up,
Just one more person without shame,
Oh, life can lead you on,
Oh, life can bring you on,
(Chorus)
For now I'm just gonna live the way I am,
If its gonna get bad I will push on,
But one more thing to say,
Just one more thing on my mind,
Why don't you stay??
I'm crawlin on my knees,
I down on dirt, oh, begging you please,
but if you dont, oh if you dont,
I will live on,
(Chorus)
For now I'm just gonna live the way I am,
If its gonna get bad I will push on,
With all my force, I will move on,
But one more thing to say,
Just one more thing on my mind,
Why don't you stay?? |
|
|
|
11-06-2007, 04:50 PM
|
#2
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Camelot
Gender: Male
Posts: 11
|
Beautifully written
|
|
|
|
|
11-06-2007, 06:06 PM
|
#3
|
|
Mentor
Join Date: May 2007
Location: E. Sussex U.K.
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,435
|
I have a thing about the word just, try reading it through in your head and leaving out the word just, it still works for me.
I particularly liked one more storm to roll in.
"One my helping hand and"
Assume the "my" was an error, "hand and" feels uncomfortable, suggestion, leave out the "and" and put "again" on the end of the line to keep the scansion, trouble is it makes a rhyme with pain when there are none elsewhere. I like you Kayte, you have good, simple thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:43 AM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
