Elipsis

Just a short little song that i wrote today to a tune that was dancing around my head. Comments would be appreciated.


October
Down here where the water is sweeter than the darkest October wine
We walk, as the rain works its way down our eyes
We step, Through the puddles that reflect our own lives

Well the stars will blink for eternity
Only because they thrive off the past
And the same always goes for your vanity mirror
As you gaze in, what you see, you know it won't last

Sleep, darling, sleep and dream of me as if i were the love of your life
I smile, as i stare into the clouds in your stormy gray eyes
I smirk, smelling your hair, sweeter than that dark October wine

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Damian_Rucci

I like it, short sweet and to the point

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Check out my blog: D.F. Rucci's Writing
Fourth Lyrical Album coming out July 4th! Check out:
"Cannabis" "Farther and Farther Away"
"Never Beating Heart" "Killing Me"
"Trapped (Lia's Wings)" "Birds"

T.W. North

The last two lines of the second verse could be fixed up, but apart from that I like it. As Damian said, short and sweet.

Revenge

Didn't know you were here North. Nice to see you.

Its a nice bit of work you have here. Its short, and sweet as has been said. It kept me in it, you didn't make me lose focus. Nice stuff.

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