Damian_Rucci

Hi everyone! This is a new song I have written. Please leave a comment or a critique, if you do I will return the favor.

"Search for a lost Soul"

Help, I'm lost in your fake sanity
Cause the dark is haunting me
Lost, wondering through a wood
Remembering all the things I should
Have done, the skies are all black
Oh god, I need to turn back
But I can't will myself to move
I'm caught staring at you.

*Chrorus*
The end has finally come
Every one needs some Love!!!
You're the angel who lost her wings
The one that cries as the bird sings
I'm looking so hard but I can't find you
Please I wish I knew you

I run past some trees
Wondering, what they thought of me
Deep within myself
Throw me to my own hell
Further down the path
Going deeper than anyone has
You've gone farther down into the space
Another problem we must face

*Chorus*

Signaled by the fire
Noticed, it wasn't there prior
I'm following all the signs
Remembering all those times.
Beneath a tree I find
A puddle of blood that blows my mind
Did it really exist?
As I watch you slitting your wrist

*Chorus* (2)

__________________
Check out my blog: D.F. Rucci's Writing
Fourth Lyrical Album coming out July 4th! Check out:
"Cannabis" "Farther and Farther Away"
"Never Beating Heart" "Killing Me"
"Trapped (Lia's Wings)" "Birds"

Voodoo

You does not rhyme with You.

Wing and Sing are piss rhymes. As in, piss poor, and they just gush out.

"Going deeper than anyone has"

Lose a syllable or two.

Fire and prior isn't a bad rhyme, but it's stretched too much. Inconsistent language.

Last two lines are humorous. Don't think that's what you intended.

Damian_Rucci

Thank you, I will edit it soon

__________________
Check out my blog: D.F. Rucci's Writing
Fourth Lyrical Album coming out July 4th! Check out:
"Cannabis" "Farther and Farther Away"
"Never Beating Heart" "Killing Me"
"Trapped (Lia's Wings)" "Birds"