Song - To See the Good In Life - Writers Forum

thamior · 07-09-2007, 04:55 PM

Sorry, too tired for crits today, only posting this because I wrote it yesterday and all I need to do is type it up.

This song is ironic, because it was written on the day of the end of my most recent relationship (which was quite unstable anyways, though this turn was unexpected) but before the break-up happened or was expected. It's not about a break-up, but what to do with the pain and sadness in life.

To See the Good In Life

These tears we bear are carried on

through all the moments of our lives.

The hurt and pain is never gone

but it doesn’t have to fill us in lonely sigh.

When we feel there’s only sorrow

and sorry for ourselves and what we have.

Then it’s all we’ll have tomorrow

it’s all we’ll live in this life with so much sad.

Chorus:

I’ve bled and cried

dirt stained upon my hands.

I’ve lived and died

and still I fail to understand.

Watching the depths of sadness in one’s eyes

with no explanation to how deep it goes.

But all I want is to smile wry

and spread the joy that beneath us always flows.

Because buried in the seeds of sadness

is a chance to see the good in life.

There’s a light to every black and darkness

a dawn to end every lonely night.

*chorus*

wgme · 07-09-2007, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thamior

Sorry, too tired for crits today, only posting this because I wrote it yesterday and all I need to do is type it up.

This song is ironic, because it was written on the day of the end of my most recent relationship (which was quite unstable anyways, though this turn was unexpected) but before the break-up happened or was expected. It's not about a break-up, but what to do with the pain and sadness in life.

To See the Good In Life

These tears we bear are carried on

through all the moments of our lives.

The hurt and pain is never gone

but it doesn’t have to fill us in lonely sigh.

When we feel there’s only sorrow

and sorry for ourselves and what we have.

Then it’s all we’ll have tomorrow

it’s all we’ll live in this life with so much sad.

Chorus:

I’ve bled and cried

dirt stained upon my hands.

I’ve lived and died

and still I fail to understand.

Watching the depths of sadness in one’s eyes

with no explanation to how deep it goes.

But all I want is to smile wry

and spread the joy that beneath us always flows.

Because buried in the seeds of sadness

is a chance to see the good in life.

There’s a light to every black and darkness

a dawn to end every lonely night.

*chorus*

Beautiful lyrics. Now if you put some good music to this I'd probably weap cause that's how I get whenever I hear beautiful lyrics along with beautiful music, but anyways great job. Keep it up.

thamior · 07-09-2007, 08:22 PM

Thanks, any crits in particular? Things you'd see differently?

wgme · 07-10-2007, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thamior

Thanks, any crits in particular? Things you'd see differently?

I'd like to see you add more to the last four lines because I like good endings. Other than that, nothing.

thamior · 07-10-2007, 05:08 PM

I'll see what I can do when I can nix some inspiration.

T.W. North · 07-17-2007, 03:44 AM

A few crits from me here - the ending words in your verses seem dodgy and don't seem to fit with the sentence they're with (the words I'm talking about are: sigh, sad, wry)

But that's more or less my only crit. ^^ Good stuff man.