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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
07-04-2007, 04:01 PM
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#1
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Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 36
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Part at Aquaman's
BAM!
WAM!
Kick out the jams!
Party like we did at Aquamans,
Kick out the lamp, bust in the walls,
Kick Aquaman in his shriveled up balls,
WHOA!
This turnin to a party,
Wonderwoman lookin like a hottie,
OH NO!
Watchin Robin bend over askin all the guys,
Hey, wanna play red rover?
So all you villains remember,
before you mess with me,
I’m hangin with with the Super Friends Society
From Luthor to the Joker,
Braniac is so mediocre
And Aquaman,
You save the seas,
Oh Please!
There’s nothin but fish.
WACK!
HACK!
Everybody to the sack,
Green Lantern help Aquaman pack,
FO SHO!
This gettin real crazy,
Had so many drinks all the ladies gettin hazy,
WHAT NO!
I thought it was a she,
Why me why me,
I guess Robin got his wish,
He told me he liked to fish,
So I let him in my pants,
And he started to dance!
From Luthor to the Joker,
Braniac is so mediocre
And Aquaman,
You save the seas,
Oh Please!
There’s nothin but fish.
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07-04-2007, 04:15 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
Gender: Male
Posts: 293
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Hey, I liked this.. Good song man!
I'll go deep later.
__________________
____________
FW
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07-04-2007, 04:28 PM
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#3
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Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 36
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Thank you...the first part of the song is my favorite, everything else isn't as great.
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07-05-2007, 05:42 PM
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#4
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Hmm, I said I'd do two crits, and so I chose the lyrics at random. This one is certainly not my style, and so it's kind of hard to critique it.
Not used to this kind of thing myself, it makes it difficult to interpret. Still, the basic gist I got was some party od super heroes, a kind of parody making fun of them...I'm not sure. Then we had some lewd references with robin and his behind. I'm not sure what to make of it, or what the overall point was. The lyric itself was constructed well in the style for which it was written, but as I said, not one that I write and so I have some disagreements with it. To each their own.
I'm sorry I couldn't offer a more useful critique, the best words I have are this: It would be interesting to see what you could do if you extended yourself beyond your style for a lyric or two and tried something more of a traditional lyric piece. But, by no means constrict yourself to it, use the basic boundries and be as original and inventive as you can be with them.
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07-06-2007, 02:14 PM
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#5
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Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 36
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Yeah, well it wasn't really like my deepest work. It was just suppose to comical and stereotypical of super heroes. It's what I like to do most, and doing deeper work isn't really me.
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07-06-2007, 04:43 PM
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#6
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Yeah, hence not my style and hard to critique. As long as you have fun with it.
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07-06-2007, 11:22 PM
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#7
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Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 36
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Well you did good with what you had.
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