Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
12-05-2006, 08:20 AM
|
#1
|
|
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 8
|
The Dark Beam
Hey guys.
Attatched to this message is a song I've written. It's going to be a piano ballad, if that helps you visualise the type of song it is. Please let me know what you think. If you don't like it, please dont' be afraid to say so, but I'd like it if you could tell me why. Thanks again,
-Anuketra-
__________________
Life sucks... get over it.
|
|
|
|
12-05-2006, 12:20 PM
|
#2
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: America...
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,720
|
Beautiful!  |
|
|
|
|
12-06-2006, 10:19 AM
|
#3
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
|
short but sweet
|
|
|
|
|
12-06-2006, 10:52 AM
|
#4
|
|
Scribe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 66
|
My favourite lines...
Too late to cry
Too weak to fight
I really like what you have here, but it seems kind of short. Is there going to be a lot of musical interludes in this song? It seems like a ballad should be longer than this. But that's nothing against your lyrics, which I think are very good.
__________________
People are like slinkies. They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
|
|
|
|
|
12-06-2006, 01:54 PM
|
#5
|
|
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 8
|
Thankyou
Thanks for your thoughts and comments, guys. It's always nice to know what people think of your own work, even if it's bad... which here, it doesn't seem to be at all, which is good. Acapella, I see your point. "The Dark Beam" is rather short, but that's the point of the lyrics. They're meant to be short, but to the point. The song is about whatever the reader/listener can percieve it to be. I do have a clear image in my own head, obviously, of what I know the song is about, but the fact that it is so short is done purposfully. As to the question about interludes, you could say this is the interlude. Before the song begins (in fact I'll try to post a link to the piano part once I've played it all out if you guys want), there is a piano piece that I've composed that carries on for perhaps a minute and a half, then reaches the song: thus, the cresendo. Then it goes back to the reversal of the affore mentioned piano piece. It's difficult to explain, but maybe I'll post it up here if people are curious and want to know more. Thanks again for the reviews, people 
-Anuketra-
__________________
Life sucks... get over it.
|
|
|
|
|
12-06-2006, 02:14 PM
|
#6
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: America...
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,720
|
Sounds quite comprehensible to me. I'd love to hear it. |
|
|
|
|
12-06-2006, 02:34 PM
|
#7
|
|
Scribe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 66
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Anuketra
As to the question about interludes, you could say this is the interlude. Before the song begins (in fact I'll try to post a link to the piano part once I've played it all out if you guys want), there is a piano piece that I've composed that carries on for perhaps a minute and a half, then reaches the song: thus, the cresendo. Then it goes back to the reversal of the affore mentioned piano piece.
|
Oh, now I get it. That sounds very interesting, I can't wait to hear it.
__________________
People are like slinkies. They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:30 PM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
