Six Strings on a Wood Box - Writers Forum

Vasque · 08-09-2006, 11:58 AM

Six Strings on a Wood Box

Didn’t have the coin for concert tickets
But I got that tape player for Christmas

I’m gonna be famous
This kid really rocks
Dad got me a 2 by 4
and I nailed
Six strings to a wood box

Turn that tape up loud
Jam around my room
I’m gonna be famous
Be a real rock star soon

It’s just a matter of time
Before I’m discovered
Cranking out the rock
With just 6 strings
On this wood box

Knock my books and pencils off the desk
Kick the wall when I jump off the bed
Sing my goldfish some Detroit rock
With just 6 strings on this wood box

Even got a groupie
Cause the girl next door
Is in love with me and my 6 string
‘Cause she just loves the way I sing

High on sugar sandwiches and lemonade
I’ll rock it up in huge arenas someday
Susie loves when I crank it out hot
With my 6 strings on this wood box

I’m gonna be famous
This kid really rocks
Dad got me a 2 by 4
and I nailed
Six strings to a wood box

mandax · 08-09-2006, 01:18 PM

This is a very cute and fun song. And I don't mean "cute" as in fluffy bunny/rainbow/flowers cute, but in an original, boy-wanting-to-be-a-rockstar cute, so don't worry. One suggestion is that I don't think you need to mention the wood box so much in the second half of the song. I think every other stanza would be more than enough. Stanzas 4-8 all talk about the six strings on the wood box, and it just got monotonous. It's especially annoying in stanza 6 because you introduce a girl next door and just go back to how the N rocks. Try to include more like stanza three.

thamior · 08-09-2006, 07:26 PM

pretty much ditto what mandax said...I enjoyed the originality of a common dream...it was fun to read.

demon_ · 08-09-2006, 10:24 PM

Dude, this is so country/rock!

I love.

D|E|M|O|N

cellardoor · 08-10-2006, 04:59 PM

that's gorgeous work. super nice, and i understand why you mention the six stringed box so much. great job

Vasque · 08-11-2006, 08:44 AM

Thanks gang. It was fun to write. I did edit out one "box" reference in the girl next door verse. Not a big change, but I think it pushes it in the right direction. Thanks for the praise and input, all.