Spooky Cactus

petals in the air keep falling down
where they land and the whole earth gives a frown
and it quakes with the shame of the flowers in the rain
and the same broken hearts keep falling falling

to the tears bittersweet eyes are open when they sleep
and they weep and the old door gives a creak
then they see you and me knowing all that we could be
And the waves on the sea keep rolling rolling

-vocal solo-

when the light shines bright on the blade of a knife
it can dance on the edge of the charade of life
he gives an empty stare wilted flowers in his hair
she's not there she's not there and he's without a care

and far far away in the light of the day
she will play gone away smiling come what may
she has stayed in the shade growing daisies in her glade
unafraid she's got the sun on her shoulderblade

-solo-

scars ever last but they're fading fast
into the past further gone and the die is cast
good luck or bad every kind of luck we've had
must be mad and it's sad but it's fading fading

they say time will heal did you think that this is real
your turn to deal watch the hearts all turn to steel
and you can take the pain but it's coming round again
and the shame oh the shame it's still flowers in the flowers in the rain

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No... I'm a mocker.

thamior

I liked this, there were a few lines that just seemed off. for instance I didnt like:
where they land and the whole earth gives a frown

but other than that, it was a nice piece.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

Bika

the "and" really broke the flow as I read it.

Way too forced for an ordinary rhyme.

Otherwise, pretty cool.

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Spooky Cactus

There's a funny story behind that line...

But yeah, I was wondering if I should cut it, so thanks.

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No... I'm a mocker.