Where Did I Go Wrong? - Writers Forum

Street_Fighting_Man · 07-13-2006, 12:44 PM

It was a cold winter day in Wisconsin
The night was over and it was time for us to split ways
I asked you if it was time for us to be more than friends
You turned me down and ignored me for days

Time healed me, so I thought
I tried to think of the lesson that was taught
But I couldn’t because I still wanted to be with you
Even though I tried to give up on you a time ago

(Chorus)
I worked so hard to get close to you
Each time I thought it was time to be more than just friends
You brushed me off and left me to think
Where did I go wrong?

Everytime I thought I had you in my arms
You slipped away with out a trace
Again you put my mind in outer space
Thinking where did I go wrong?

Electric Solo

Chorus

Over time we became even better friends than before
Each time I talked to you I felt like I was being lead on
I was almost positive I had you for sure
I was hoping again, to no get conned

We got back late from the amusement park
You said you had the greatest time of your life
I was hoping you wouldn’t leave my heart in the dark
But you sliced through my heart with a knife

I asked you that same question that night
You gave me that same answer that tore me in two
I tried to love you with all my might
But love you is something I never go to do

Chorus (end)

demon_ · 07-13-2006, 04:51 PM

(if the following message is quoted, don't expect a response

You went wrong by making this song so very, very, very cliche. But the rest of it (atleast) tells a tale of emotion. The metaphors were almost OK... just near.

thamior · 07-13-2006, 08:08 PM

I enjoyed this, the emotion was really brought out well. there were a few rough spots, but it was a nice peice.