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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
07-13-2006, 12:23 AM
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#1
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,358
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Burnout
.
__________________
Every artist is a cannibal; Every poet is a thief All kill the inspiration; and sing about the grief - U2
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Last edited by Bika : 10-10-2006 at 12:18 AM.
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07-13-2006, 12:26 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Les Etats-Unis
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,568
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I like it, I think it would fit really well with music. What is the purpose of the words in () though?
It felt a little repetitive to me and I couldn't really understand the emotions because of all the apostrophes but I just like they way it sounded.
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07-13-2006, 12:31 AM
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#3
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,358
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() = Backing vocals
It is repetitive. I was thinking fast paced, almost staccato while writing it, to reflect the intensity of the feeling between two people who just met and kind of went "WOW"
__________________
Every artist is a cannibal; Every poet is a thief All kill the inspiration; and sing about the grief - U2
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
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07-13-2006, 12:32 AM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Les Etats-Unis
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,568
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yeah I could feel the staccato beat in the words, which is why i liked it.  nice, you can convey beat through words.
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07-13-2006, 01:38 AM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 367
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What's up Bika, great song! You can really feel it as you read the words. Nice tune dude.
__________________
"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies...."
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07-13-2006, 01:47 AM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 308
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That's pretty cool, you must know what your doing. I think you have a good feel for music at least. I'd give this a thumbs up ^_^ The only part I didn't like was the:
"Cigarette burns
over my eyes"
Seemed a bit out of place.
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07-13-2006, 08:10 AM
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#7
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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I enjoyed it, great beat, might want another name...that one's been taken 
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