Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
07-02-2006, 09:44 PM
|
#1
|
|
Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,302
|
Falling
I see you drifting,
Through my fictional sphere.
In the imagination,
Of a person filled with fear.
The comfort of my dreams,
Has disappeared.
Now I have nightmares,
Of scenarios I致e feared.
I知 falling,
Falling,
In love with you.
Yet I知 falling,
Falling,
Out of your view.
Chorus:
What a reverie!
Haunting me.
What a reality!
Taunting me.
The probability,
Is daunting me.
I知 now the victim,
Of a romantic rivalry.
My hallucinations,
Seem tangible here.
Predictions are happening,
My end is near.
My premonitions,
Of a love most dear,
Don稚 include me,
Or my silent tears.
I知 falling,
Falling,
In love with you.
Yet I知 falling,
Falling,
Out of your view.
Repeat Chorus
We致e fallen,
Simultaneously.
But we致e landed,
Separately.
So I値l plead,
Desperately.
For you to,
Reconsider and choose me.
|
|
|
|
07-02-2006, 11:31 PM
|
#2
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 371
|
pretty good, but it was hard for me to keep a good beat all the way though. The
Quote:
I知 falling,
Falling,
In love with you.
Yet I知 falling,
Falling,
Out of your view.
|
part is where the beat was kinda dropped. other than that, fine
__________________
Looking down at my shoes, What am I doing here?
Forgive My Horrible Typing In The Meantime.
I Am Currently Recovering For Surgery On My Hand
|
|
|
|
|
07-02-2006, 11:48 PM
|
#3
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,358
|
I liked it. The only two lines that fell flat for me were the repetition of fear/feared (last lines of first two verses) and "My end is near."
__________________
Every artist is a cannibal; Every poet is a thief All kill the inspiration; and sing about the grief - U2
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
|
|
|
|
|
07-03-2006, 06:48 PM
|
#4
|
|
Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,302
|
Thanks for the comments. I would take out the "falling" parts, but they're my favorite, so I can't build up the courage to part with them. However, I am going to try and take out the repitition of "fear", because I do think that should be changed.
|
|
|
|
|
07-03-2006, 09:22 PM
|
#5
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
|
it was nice...kinda made me happy (Despite its message) because it gave me some ideas for later  |
|
|
|
|
07-03-2006, 10:50 PM
|
#6
|
|
Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,302
|
Glad I inspired you, thamior.
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:25 PM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ｩ2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
