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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
06-28-2006, 04:20 PM
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#1
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Middle Earth
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,605
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Hopeless Cry
Alright, I wasn't going to put this up here, but I wrote it a few months ago and figured I might as well. The words to the chorus change, so I'll just put "chorus:" above every time one comes up.
Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away
chorus:
And I feel you
I hear you
Your smile shines through my night
Your sweet memory consumes me
Can you hear my heart's hopeless cry?
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
Tears break through my angry barriers
I drown as despair takes over
chorus:
Won't you hear me?
Please save me
From the death I'm living in
Don't you remember the good times?
Don't you miss the times we spent?
chorus:
If you'll just hear me
I'm waiting
For the chance to try again
Don't reject me, please let me
Show you the things I never said
__________________
it's a long long road, it's a big big world
we are wise wise women, we are giggling girls
we both carry a smile to show when we're pleased
both carry a switchblade in our sleeves
- Ani DiFranco, from "If He Tries Anything"
also in "Somplace To Be Flying" by Charles de Lint
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06-28-2006, 04:30 PM
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#2
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
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Quote:
Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away
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Now, I thought this was a nice piece for a visual. Flow was hard for me but that's not all that important in lyrics.
chorus:
Quote:
And I feel you
I hear you
Your smile shines through my night
Your sweet memory consumes me
Can you hear my heart's hopeless cry?
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*puke!* Sorry, just didn't feel anything with it.
Quote:
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
Tears break through my angry barriers
I drown as despair takes over
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Pretty good. Not in my favour. Still like the first one better. "Tears broke through my anger barriers" just threw itoff for me...
chorus:
Quote:
If you'll just hear me
I'm waiting
For the chance to try again
Don't reject me, please let me
Show you the things I never said
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You, know I'd rant on about cliche and stuff but you guys seem to always be attacking me about it, I don't want no debate again. I'll just say this didn't work for me...
Overall, I kinda like visual it brought me... I respect how true it went to the end.
Not bad, (remember, I'm tough)
 
Demon
__________________
Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
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07-09-2006, 04:02 PM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Middle Earth
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,605
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I rewrote this while I was on vacation. Here's the new version, with a new name:
"What's Left of Me"
Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away
*chorus*
It's a new day
A new chance
To forget what used to be
But I can't shake off
The memories
Time to bury what's left of me
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
You made your choice, I forgave you
But the past won't let me go
*chorus*
*bridge*
I can't bear the thought of never holding you again
But I'm staying strong, and I will see this to the end
*chorus 2x*
__________________
it's a long long road, it's a big big world
we are wise wise women, we are giggling girls
we both carry a smile to show when we're pleased
both carry a switchblade in our sleeves
- Ani DiFranco, from "If He Tries Anything"
also in "Somplace To Be Flying" by Charles de Lint
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07-09-2006, 04:11 PM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Carribean
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,412
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When there are people who write music that speaks with every note, it really makes me wonder what people are trying to do when their words cant speak :/
__________________
Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...
Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...
Yes, must still shut up.
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07-10-2006, 07:39 PM
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#5
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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I enjoyed it Vinr, I've felt such similar feelings its creepy.
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07-10-2006, 10:41 PM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 367
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What's up Vin, this was okay. I liked the imagery it conjured in me.
Code:
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
You made your choice, I forgave you
But the past won't let me go
That's a nice line. Good work.
__________________
"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies...."
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