Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
06-28-2006, 04:20 PM
|
#1
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Middle Earth
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,599
|
Hopeless Cry
Alright, I wasn't going to put this up here, but I wrote it a few months ago and figured I might as well. The words to the chorus change, so I'll just put "chorus:" above every time one comes up.
Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away
chorus:
And I feel you
I hear you
Your smile shines through my night
Your sweet memory consumes me
Can you hear my heart's hopeless cry?
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
Tears break through my angry barriers
I drown as despair takes over
chorus:
Won't you hear me?
Please save me
From the death I'm living in
Don't you remember the good times?
Don't you miss the times we spent?
chorus:
If you'll just hear me
I'm waiting
For the chance to try again
Don't reject me, please let me
Show you the things I never said
__________________
"Silence is not a natural environment for stories. They need words. Without them they grow pale, sicken and die. And then they haunt you." -Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale
Among the Ashes
|
|
|
06-28-2006, 04:30 PM
|
#2
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
|
Quote:
Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away
|
Now, I thought this was a nice piece for a visual. Flow was hard for me but that's not all that important in lyrics.
chorus:
Quote:
And I feel you
I hear you
Your smile shines through my night
Your sweet memory consumes me
Can you hear my heart's hopeless cry?
|
*puke!* Sorry, just didn't feel anything with it.
Quote:
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
Tears break through my angry barriers
I drown as despair takes over
|
Pretty good. Not in my favour. Still like the first one better. "Tears broke through my anger barriers" just threw itoff for me...
chorus:
Quote:
If you'll just hear me
I'm waiting
For the chance to try again
Don't reject me, please let me
Show you the things I never said
|
You, know I'd rant on about cliche and stuff but you guys seem to always be attacking me about it, I don't want no debate again. I'll just say this didn't work for me...
Overall, I kinda like visual it brought me... I respect how true it went to the end.
Not bad, (remember, I'm tough)

Demon
__________________
Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
|
|
|
07-09-2006, 04:02 PM
|
#3
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Middle Earth
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,599
|
I rewrote this while I was on vacation. Here's the new version, with a new name:
"What's Left of Me"
Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away
*chorus*
It's a new day
A new chance
To forget what used to be
But I can't shake off
The memories
Time to bury what's left of me
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
You made your choice, I forgave you
But the past won't let me go
*chorus*
*bridge*
I can't bear the thought of never holding you again
But I'm staying strong, and I will see this to the end
*chorus 2x*
__________________
"Silence is not a natural environment for stories. They need words. Without them they grow pale, sicken and die. And then they haunt you." -Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale
Among the Ashes
|
|
|
07-09-2006, 04:11 PM
|
#4
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Carribean
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,360
|
When there are people who write music that speaks with every note, it really makes me wonder what people are trying to do when their words cant speak :/
__________________
Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...
Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...
Yes, must still shut up.
|
|
|
07-10-2006, 07:39 PM
|
#5
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
|
I enjoyed it Vinr, I've felt such similar feelings its creepy.
|
|
|
07-10-2006, 10:41 PM
|
#6
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 367
|
What's up Vin, this was okay. I liked the imagery it conjured in me.
Code:
I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
You made your choice, I forgave you
But the past won't let me go
That's a nice line. Good work.
__________________
"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies...."
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:03 PM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us:
|
|