VinrAlfakyn

Alright, I wasn't going to put this up here, but I wrote it a few months ago and figured I might as well. The words to the chorus change, so I'll just put "chorus:" above every time one comes up.



Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away

chorus:

And I feel you
I hear you
Your smile shines through my night
Your sweet memory consumes me
Can you hear my heart's hopeless cry?

I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
Tears break through my angry barriers
I drown as despair takes over

chorus:

Won't you hear me?
Please save me
From the death I'm living in
Don't you remember the good times?
Don't you miss the times we spent?

chorus:

If you'll just hear me
I'm waiting
For the chance to try again
Don't reject me, please let me
Show you the things I never said

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"Silence is not a natural environment for stories. They need words. Without them they grow pale, sicken and die. And then they haunt you." -Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale
Among the Ashes

demon_

Now, I thought this was a nice piece for a visual. Flow was hard for me but that's not all that important in lyrics.

chorus:

*puke!* Sorry, just didn't feel anything with it.

Pretty good. Not in my favour. Still like the first one better. "Tears broke through my anger barriers" just threw itoff for me...

chorus:

You, know I'd rant on about cliche and stuff but you guys seem to always be attacking me about it, I don't want no debate again. I'll just say this didn't work for me...

Overall, I kinda like visual it brought me... I respect how true it went to the end.

Not bad, (remember, I'm tough)



Demon

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Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...

VinrAlfakyn

I rewrote this while I was on vacation. Here's the new version, with a new name:

"What's Left of Me"

Sun breaks over the horizon
I lie still, thinking of you
Whispers echo through the silence
Darkness slowly drifts away

*chorus*
It's a new day
A new chance
To forget what used to be
But I can't shake off
The memories
Time to bury what's left of me

I sigh, thinking of your gentle touch
Your soft kiss lingering on my lips
You made your choice, I forgave you
But the past won't let me go

*chorus*

*bridge*
I can't bear the thought of never holding you again
But I'm staying strong, and I will see this to the end

*chorus 2x*

__________________
"Silence is not a natural environment for stories. They need words. Without them they grow pale, sicken and die. And then they haunt you." -Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale
Among the Ashes

Mystery

When there are people who write music that speaks with every note, it really makes me wonder what people are trying to do when their words cant speak :/

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Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...

Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...

Yes, must still shut up.

thamior

I enjoyed it Vinr, I've felt such similar feelings its creepy.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

ebmadman

What's up Vin, this was okay. I liked the imagery it conjured in me.

That's a nice line. Good work.

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"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies...."