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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
06-27-2006, 05:19 PM
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#1
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Scribe
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Boise
Gender: Male
Posts: 66
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Roadside Murders
Road-Side Murders
Don’t follow me now
To this dark fortress
Filled with lost shadows
But if you do
Just remember to
Remember to….
Get down on your knees and watch the shadows
Engulf you
*(Chorus)*
For the roadside murders
Are on the way
So I’ll ask you again…..
Get down on you knees
And watch the shadows
Engulf you
He's standing in front of you know
watching, listening, killing you know
so please stop
stop following me to my death
Get down on your knees and watch the shadows
Engulf you
*(Chorus 2x)*
*(Spoken)*
Lets watch the darkness fall upon us as we all fall and cry to our deaths, blood smeared inside us, knee deep in this black blood we call life. Now its dark, everyone is drowning in there own blood and wishing they hadn’t. Get down on your knees and watch the shadows engulf you!
*(Chorus)*
Now your too late
The shadows are upon us
And the road-side murders
Are on the way
By:
War-Torn Flowers
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06-27-2006, 06:46 PM
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#2
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,296
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There was good description, but not much depth.
Quote:
Get down on your knees and watch the shadows
Engulf you
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I don't even think these lines are necessary since they're in the chorus. The repition does nothing for me. There is also basically no rhyme scheme, which is difficult to pull off, but still possible. I'd have to hear it to decide whether or not it works with this song.
All in all, it's alright. Oh, and the font colors aren't necessary. |
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06-27-2006, 07:34 PM
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#3
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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this didnt instill a mood or emotion for me...I'm sorry, it just seems like the only way this would catch me is if it were differnet with music, I cannot see how any changes that dont radically alter the lyric would make it more meaningful,
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06-27-2006, 07:51 PM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Carribean
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,446
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Dunno bout you, but dont post in color, I'd like to keep my eyes.
__________________
Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...
Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...
Yes, must still shut up.
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06-27-2006, 07:55 PM
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#5
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Mystery
Dunno bout you, but dont post in color, I'd like to keep my eyes.
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lol, mystery is that a default avatar? |
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06-27-2006, 11:54 PM
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#6
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
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Is this Devon?
(A few grammar mistakes, though)
Or one of his friends?
I actually didn't mind the whole thing. And, like Thamior stated, it had a lack of emotion. Really sent me a clear vison though (usually what is wanted for a band with the image of War-Torn Flowers, as Devon told me it would be like).
Not bad,
 
Demon
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Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
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06-28-2006, 02:25 PM
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#7
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Addict
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Boise
Gender: Female
Posts: 105
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Woot!!@@!@! Great work Delta! And no, that's Cody. He's our new drummer. Devon plays bass. I play lead guitar. GET IT RIGHT!  |
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06-28-2006, 04:45 PM
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#8
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
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Sorry there Terra.... Hey, you got an MSN. I enjoy talking to Devon about music, you must be as intriguing.
And not to mention, I always wanted a female to play lead guitar in a band of both genders... I was starting to think everyone was sexest. Lol
__________________
Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
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06-28-2006, 04:53 PM
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#9
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Addict
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Boise
Gender: Female
Posts: 105
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me...intriguing.....lmafo. I learned all my music stuff from Devon. It's great having him around to beat up |
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06-28-2006, 04:54 PM
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#10
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
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If Devon spreads on good bands like that, he's the man...
I try to do that, too...
Lol, no MSN?
__________________
Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
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06-28-2006, 04:56 PM
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#11
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Addict
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Boise
Gender: Female
Posts: 105
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No msn yet, my computer is a faggot  Doesn't download. I'll Pm youi when I get it |
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06-29-2006, 02:54 AM
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#12
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sailing the darkness of the Cosmos with this planet as my vessel
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,470
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You've heard my thoughts buddy Great work |
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06-29-2006, 02:07 PM
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#13
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Addict
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Boise
Gender: Female
Posts: 105
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What a critique Oasis Wait...mine suck too DAMN! |
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