flutterfly

Verse 1

Oh candle light I'm fighting deep within my mind
Say I should go, say I'm too scared
Oh candle light lets play a game, pretending that
you are the flame, of all knowing
and I'm listening

Verse 2

Oh candle light I'm breathing air thats thick tonight
It's heavy with fog, from Mr Daniels
You see I'm caught between a cat'n'mouse, their playing house
Say I should read, Martha's manual
Oh candle light

Chorus

Oh candle light, I see your darker side
Your flame can burn so bright
Then fade cause the breeze you had pegged, it just shifted

Oh candle light, the warmth you convey
Is so limited
you expose your heartstrings and you say stupid things then pretend,
you never exhisted
Oh candle light

Break

Chorus

Verse 1/2 combine

Oh candle light I'm fighting deep within my mind
It's heavy with fog, from Mr Daniels
You see I'm caught between a cat 'n' mouse, their playing house
Say I should read, Martha's manual
Oh candle light

break

Oh candle light lets play a game pretending that,
You are the flame, of all knowing
and I'm listening

I'm listening

End

ebmadman

What's up flutterfly, very easy going song. Some of the wording, I had a problem with, but thats just m.o. It reminded me of the Bengals. I guess subconciously, their "Eternal Flame" and your "Candle" merged in my head. wierd. Nice song though.

__________________
"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies...."

Gnomes Amok

Though hard to catch a tune in my head, It read smoothly for the most part. The second verse I especially love. Theres some very clever wording. Overall, I think its very good.

There is one line that rubs me wrong, thats "You are the flame, of all knowing". I feel it could be reworded or something, it seems vigorously cheesy and the piece is to good for that

Nice work