Solitude Eternal - Writers Forum

Oasis Writer · 06-18-2006, 08:37 PM

Woot! It's been awhile since I've posted a new song, and right now, since I was majorly bored, was able to bust-a-groove, bust-a-rhyme, and get a song going So, here's what I got.

Seeing all these people
Falling into the dark
Ending their sorrows
No where to lurk

In the furthering pain
Wasting away
In the forgotten
Darkness stays

(Chorus)
Following the forgotten, only six months away
Living through pain, sorrow, as they try and stay
But nothing at all, victim to betray
Nothing at all, as they continue to decay

Seeing all these people
Rotting in the endless moon
Colors distorting
In our stagnated swoon

In the furthering pain
We’re wasting away
In the forgotten
Shadows always stays

*(Chorus 2x)*

Only six months away, the night will be forgotten
Gone from this bleeding weep
Caught in a hole
Bleeding to sleep

*(Chorus 2x)*

demon_ · 06-18-2006, 08:47 PM

Oasis, Devon... bah!

This type of story was 'overused'...lol... in the genre you're probably writing in.

However, I think everybody could agree that this was written beautifully...

Despite your doubts, this was good.

Impressive...

thamior · 06-18-2006, 08:52 PM

I thouroghly enjoyed it...nothing to comment on, good job.

Edit:
btw I saw the movie last night....I LOVE VINCENT

demon_ · 06-18-2006, 08:59 PM

Yeah, Vincent is awesome....

Sephiroth still owns all!

thamior · 06-18-2006, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demon_

Yeah, Vincent is awesome....

Sephiroth still owns all!

I have a friend thats like that, but vincent is cooler, not to mention my character HAunus is cooler

demon_ · 06-18-2006, 09:24 PM

Lol, I remember Haunus.... from a long, long time ago...

I liked that story....

SEPHIROTH!!!!!!

aliceedelweiss · 06-18-2006, 11:28 PM

Devon! *attacks* oh sorry...

I liked it. It was very beautiful, although, what was the 'six months' thing? It flowed and I liked the vocabulary in it.

Alice

Mystery · 06-19-2006, 06:45 AM

hmm

Quote:

Seeing all these people
Falling into the dark
Ending their sorrows
No where to lurk

No.

Quote:

In the furthering pain
Wasting away
In the forgotten
Darkness stays

Nice on the 2 last lines, very nice.

Quote:

Following the forgotten, only six months away
Living through pain, sorrow, as they try and stay
But nothing at all, victim to betray
Nothing at all, as they continue to decay

Good.

Quote:

Seeing all these people
Rotting in the endless moon
Colors distorting
In our stagnated swoon

First two lines are amazing, probably with more meaning that most people get.
Second is nice, I like the word distorted.(I used to use it a lot aswell >.>)

Quote:

Only six months away, the night will be forgotten
Gone from this bleeding weep
Caught in a hole
Bleeding to sleep

Is six months a metaphorical value, I've tried to decipher any likeness in a epic poem or sth, can't find/remember any reference to 6 months as a special value.
The last two line's are rather emo.

Good work, keep it up amigo.

Oasis Writer · 06-19-2006, 01:10 PM

You all are awesome. Thanks Demon, I appreciate your look-see, and you too Thaimor, the movie was awesome, I know you'd like it. Vincent was one of my favs too, but Sephiroth still owns all. *(Wasn't happy with how quick he lost, behemute had a longer fight)* Thank you Alice, I appreciate it a lot

And you too Mystery. Means a lot of you liked it.

The six month reference, is SCIENCE! *(Hears oh's and aw's.)* It takes the human brain, usually after a lose of something, 6 months to forget about it, or to be able to completely space it from any thought process. Although, some memories are different, the average brain takes 6 months in doing so itself.

Mystery · 06-19-2006, 07:47 PM

Mmm, interesting.

Oasis Writer · 06-19-2006, 07:53 PM

Yes....very

Terra Valentine · 06-29-2006, 02:04 PM

Dark, and nice

I like it. Not your best, but I like it

Oasis Writer · 06-29-2006, 04:11 PM

Thank you, I appreciate it a lot.