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Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

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Old 05-27-2006, 11:48 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 7
metaliger is on a distinguished road
"If I'm the Desert's Dream"

Hello, this is the first song I'm posting here. Read it and please comment on my writing.



Plagerisms honing my stand
Midnight insight manning god's hand
Graveyard depictions of fiction
Dusty boned defying it's region
Region by filed

If I die tommorow I will
Thank the christmas foreign dial
In the night, the light

Mourning bearer surveys the ditch
Undertaking creations of god
Range defiling my death rest place
Shovels fail in spreading the mace
FLASHLIGHTS SHINING, cameras online
Forced endeavor, FEEDING STRUGGLE

If my horror pictures come true
Directing the shack's desert shrew
Blood will spill, purify

Death for my rights innocent cactus
System actor denies the practice
Renovating darkness of posts
Harvesting souls to send the roast

If my life bed supports this red
Ratification controlled by string fed
Slitting this far, TO GLIDE

Philosophical coffins broken to strengthen buisiness
Popular unto the metamorphosis of loud threats
Dripping the fluid of torture, proving my fluidity
Cold and naked, clowning theifs reigning assuredly
Wrenches posing the obstruction of a bush faith
Reconsiliation activating demon wraiths
Sources inform the searching goggles
That we all dig our own death raves

If I manage to extract a reason
A void will be proven upon my father
Accessing life, DIE
If I'm fucking the desert of life
Adressing beige in the state of thought train
My thoughts, I fuck

Fucking graveyard, fucking shovel
Fucking flashlights, fucking rubble

DIE
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Old 05-27-2006, 01:34 PM   #2
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zoya_brar is on a distinguished road
hey !
i am in a bit of a hurry right now so couldn't read the lyrics properly, but i promise tomorrow morning first thing i ll come and give you a critique.
keep writing
and welcome again!
Zoya
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Old 05-29-2006, 08:29 AM   #3
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Mystery has a little shameless behaviour in the past
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Don't string big words together in a an attempt to create something cool or deep sounding. Im not reading past the first line unless you write something you mean, and trust me when I say this, I feel no meaning.
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Old 05-29-2006, 08:46 AM   #4
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zoya_brar is on a distinguished road
now i get it... i read most pieces when i can.. and just incase i leave a note i always come back.. but i guess something was stopping me from reading it.. and you are right mystery this doesnt sound genuine
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