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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
05-25-2006, 09:36 AM
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#1
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 386
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Give Me A Few More Last Chances
Give Me a Few More Chances
Give me a few more chances
To mess up being true
I promise it won’t be the last time
I come crawling back to you
Baby, you gotta understand I
Can’t help those things I do
Can never change my ways just like I
Can’t ever stop loving you
Chorus:
Baby, forgive my drunken advances
Give me some lovin’ first and then
Give me a few more last chances
….to screw things up again
I’ll never leave and I never stray
I just get lost every now and then
I’ll be with you until my dying day
Or until my last chances run out again
Just ignore those things you heard
I would never take off my ring
I don’t even know how to flirt
It was just the whiskey talking
*Chorus*
I know flowers and candy can’t make my wrongs right
But I bought you a greenhouse and a fudge shop
Just let me sleep in your bed tonight
I don’t remember much about last night
But I need this brand new sunrise
To see the thing that makes life right
The look of your forgiving eyes
Baby, I’ll beg you to take me back
Just give me a few more last tries and
Then when I screw up that
Draw me a few more last hard lines
*Chorus*
*Chorus*
__________________
~Vasque~
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05-25-2006, 11:16 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,358
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Way, way way cool... feels like it's a little forced in places (the whole ring/talking stanze could be smoother, thought right now I can't think how) and possibly "the look of your forgiving eyes" could be "the look in your forgiving eyes".
But otherwise...
music please! 
__________________
Every artist is a cannibal; Every poet is a thief All kill the inspiration; and sing about the grief - U2
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
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05-25-2006, 11:26 AM
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#3
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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very nice, though the message was a bit umm....well it wasnt bad just interesting. I liked the lyric good job!
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05-25-2006, 11:42 AM
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#4
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 386
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Bika, thanks...I thought those parts were bumpy too, that's what I needed to hear. I'll work on those.
Hey Thamoir, I'll make sure not to play this one in church, m'kay?
(this is not biographical, by the way!)
__________________
~Vasque~
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05-25-2006, 11:48 AM
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#5
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Vasque
Bika, thanks...I thought those parts were bumpy too, that's what I needed to hear. I'll work on those.
Hey Thamoir, I'll make sure not to play this one in church, m'kay?
(this is not biographical, by the way!) |
you better not, God will smiteth thee |
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05-25-2006, 03:26 PM
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#6
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Carribean
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,501
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by thamior
you better not, God will smiteth thee |
What you cant see can't hurt you.
I like this, it's got it's flaws but if I began I wouldn't stop, and its too good to ruin with small little gliches.
__________________
Imagine what you could do if you didn't require sleep... Now calculate all the hours you've lost so far with sleep, Insomnia ain't seeming so bad now is it?
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05-30-2006, 11:00 AM
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#7
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 386
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Mystery
What you cant see can't hurt you.
I like this, it's got it's flaws but if I began I wouldn't stop, and its too good to ruin with small little gliches.
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yup, lots of nits to fix. I'll get to them. I am escpecially unhappy with the "wedding ring/whiskey talking" flow/rhyme. I'll get to fixing it...everything.. later. Thanks all.
__________________
~Vasque~
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