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| Lyrics Original Song Lyrics. |
07-06-2006, 07:05 PM
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#16
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
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gone
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Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
Last edited by demon_ : 07-06-2006 at 07:19 PM.
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07-06-2006, 07:08 PM
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#17
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,358
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On behalf of anyone who posts crits here in this forum, I'd like to apologise to Small Town for this occurring on your thread...
Nice lyric, simple, sweet.
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Every artist is a cannibal; Every poet is a thief All kill the inspiration; and sing about the grief - U2
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
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07-06-2006, 07:16 PM
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#18
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 371
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useless
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Looking down at my shoes, What am I doing here?
Forgive My Horrible Typing In The Meantime.
I Am Currently Recovering For Surgery On My Hand
Last edited by Elipsis : 07-07-2006 at 02:54 PM.
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07-07-2006, 09:10 AM
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#19
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 112
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A few things:
I dont agree with Demon when he says "how he thinks lyrics should be" because I dont believe theres any set way lyrics should be. If its good, its good. There are many different ways to approach writing a song.
I do agree with Demon that the song sounds cliche and lacks emotion. This is not to say I did not like the song, it wasn't bad. It wasn't wonderful, but by no means was it bad. Its good enough that I'd listen to it if it had enjoyable music, and lyrics are a big part of what I listen to.
Perhaps music and emotion are two seperate things, but they shouldn't be. In lots of fixed styles of music, emotion is left out of the equation, and emotions what I look for in a song. Technical sustinance is great, but it doesn't move the soul.
And Jazz, depending on what kind you listen to, can be just as emotional as anything else, thats the kind I like.
Whether you agree or not, those are personal objections with the song based on my personal tastes.
Also, Verse 2 was the strongest part. Id suggest implementing more of that style with the rest of the song if you feel you want to rework it.
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07-12-2006, 04:14 PM
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#20
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Best Seller
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: @ the home of Acheron, my arki, mostly on his arm
Gender: Female
Posts: 677
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Okay, guys. if music is not emotion, what is it? I mean, music is thought and feeling.
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God gave me eyes and a library with awesome books, and he made me very happy.  The pen is mightier than the sword, I know. But what about the pencil?   This is how my life is: I'm forever beating my head against a wall... All I have to say is ... "SMURF!!!"Visit my favorite site... oh wait... you're already here!
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07-12-2006, 04:16 PM
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#21
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Best Seller
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: @ the home of Acheron, my arki, mostly on his arm
Gender: Female
Posts: 677
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bika
On behalf of anyone who posts crits here in this forum, I'd like to apologise to Small Town for this occurring on your thread...
Nice lyric, simple, sweet.
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Thank you. you weren't a part of it, but thank you. it would feel better if those particpatimg would have felt the way you do.
__________________
God gave me eyes and a library with awesome books, and he made me very happy. The pen is mightier than the sword, I know. But what about the pencil? This is how my life is: I'm forever beating my head against a wall... All I have to say is ... "SMURF!!!" Visit my favorite site... oh wait... you're already here!
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07-12-2006, 04:20 PM
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#22
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Best Seller
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: @ the home of Acheron, my arki, mostly on his arm
Gender: Female
Posts: 677
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Sorry, going through and commenting. I wasn't expecting so many replies.
Thank you for your comments and thoughts, although I don't appriciate some of you guys' thoughtlessness toward the composer. If you don't like my lirics, you can damn well WRITE YOUR FUCKING OWN!!!
__________________
God gave me eyes and a library with awesome books, and he made me very happy. The pen is mightier than the sword, I know. But what about the pencil? This is how my life is: I'm forever beating my head against a wall... All I have to say is ... "SMURF!!!" Visit my favorite site... oh wait... you're already here!
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