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Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

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Old 02-26-2006, 12:27 PM   #1
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steadymarvin is on a distinguished road
Indecision bugging me

I can't decide whether this is a song or a poem. I wrote in my head while driving I think it is a song because it has a chorus but I can't find it's tune so maybe it is a poem.

Invisible Man

I'm standing at the bar
With a pint glass in my hand
And the barman's looking through me
Like I'm the invisible man

Like he doesn't even see me
Like he doesn't give a damn
Like he wouldn't want to be me
'cos I'm the invisible man


So I'm standing at the bus stop
Waiting for the number nine
But the bus drives right on past me
Tho' I'm standing in the line

Like the driver doesn't see me
Like he doesn't give a damn
Like he wouldn't want to be me
'cos I'm the invisible man

And I get back home to you
After working hard all day
But we've nothing left in common
And there's nothing more to say

You pretend you cannot see me
That you couldn't give a damn
That you wouldn't want to be me
I'm the invisible man

So I'm standing in the bank
And I'm asking for a loan
But the manager can't see me...
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Old 02-27-2006, 09:34 AM   #2
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Great concept. Very relatable to most people. No Chorus?
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Old 02-27-2006, 12:02 PM   #3
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The "chorus" changes everytime to reference the verse before - it's the bit ending in "I'm the invisible man" - hence my confusion over whether it's a poem or a lyric. If it is a lyric, it might be Blues.
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Old 02-27-2006, 12:57 PM   #4
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I really liked it and it is very easy to relate to. Not every song has a chorus and a prime example of that is bruce springstein. The majority of his songs lack chorus but htey are still unbelieveable.
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Old 02-27-2006, 10:37 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Night Wraith
Not every song has a chorus and a prime example of that is bruce springstein. The majority of his songs lack chorus but htey are still unbelieveable.
Yes and no.

The fact is that most of Bruce's songs do have a chorus and often a bridge...however...one of the finest songs ever written just happens to be a Bruce number with no chorus...unless we count the sax solo outro which is a whole other story.!!!

Allow me a moment to explain.

Bruce's first two albums, Greetings From Asbury Park and The Wild The Innocent and the E Street Shuffle, were poorly taken by the public at large though some critics raved. The songs are spotty in terms of production and studio discipline so commercial Radio thusly ignored the often long, rambling tunes. By the third album Bruce was getting some decent production advice and became more economical in his recordings but still fairly grand
by intention. From here we can look at two good examples of songs with no traditional vocal chorus. This third record, by the way, would go on to define his career.



Born to Run starts of with Thunder Road. It is at this moment Bruce lives up to the high expectations people had for his poetic and intense songs...expectations of the next Dylan.

"The screen door slams, Mary's dress waves.
Like a vision she dances across the porch as the radio plays,
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely,
Hey that's me and I want you only,
Don't turn me home again I just can't face myself alone again.

Don't run back inside darling you know just what I am here for,
So you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore,
Show a little faith there's magic in the night,
You ain't a beauty but hey you're all right...
And that's all right with me..."



This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is poetic genius. It stands perfectly without any hint of music.

The song continues this narrative but never presents itself in any way other than a straight line with no repetition. It is a work of perfection. (There is a bridge section under "Well I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk" but we will leave musical technicalities aside for now.)


Meeting across the River takes a different musical approach. It is a stylised Jazz piece that works behind the narrative...unlike Thunder Road where there is a sense of musical propulsion.

If you listen to either of these tracks there is no sense of disconnect in respect to traditional pop structures yet neither conform to accepted norms...why?

Because of two essential ingrediants whose sum exceeds the parts. The words are great and the music is great...combine them and you have magic in the night.

What you don't have are hit singles...


...they have little to do with great, timeless songs.


My long winded point is that writing songs without a chorus is tricky, very tricky indeed. The words in question here are not strong enough on their own...they need music and yes...they would do fine in a blues song.


Cheers,
Aardvark
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Old 03-10-2006, 02:15 AM   #6
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Phew!

Thanks for that. Springsteen - now there goes a true musical poet. Depth, vision, meaning, structure - all the things that my "cheerful little ditty" lacks
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