DylanFan

I wrote this for my girlfriend the other day and im gonna show her on valentines day. Some of its kinda personal stuff so it wont make total since but feedback is always welcomed. Nerual is her name spelled backwards, lol shes not some weird elf girl or n e thing

Nerual and her Pirate

Another star was born tonight
And the moon’s making room gladly
The star can dance like the lizard king
Who always dances madly

A lonely pirate and the perfect nun
Met in a field of sound
Surrounded by crowds and poison clouds
They laid upon the ground

Way back before the earth quaked and split
Before the caves were filled
Before giants came and went
Before the soup was spilled

Someone or something created and dreamed
He believed a time would come to me
When I could be happy just to see you
I am because you’re all a see

Nerual. The name makes lights come on
In the darkest depths of space
The name that makes me smile, happy
The name of beauty’s face

Keep me in your thoughts
You’re already in my dreams
Time stops and clockworks slow
When I hold you as my queen

Take my hand I’ll lead the way
I want to see the light
Kiss me.
If and when you think the time is right

__________________
In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
~Bob Dylan~

Gizzmo0411

I like it!

It takes some skill to write lyrics that make a good poem as well. It tells a bit of a story. A little sticky sweet at the end there but it is a love song...so I'll let that slide.

So are you hoping to get a first kiss out of this? Hehehehe

DylanFan

acctually yes thanks for the read

__________________
In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
~Bob Dylan~

DylanFan

I gave it to her tonight she loved it! Everything went perfectly

__________________
In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
~Bob Dylan~

thamior

good job Dylan fan, great stuff, and I might add, love songs work wonders

__________________

Dark and Shattered Lands

DylanFan

thanks. Yep everthing went about perfectly

__________________
In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
~Bob Dylan~

revolutionlh1012

I like how you found a way to mention morrison haha nice job

__________________
An' he just smoked my eyelids
An' punched my cigarette.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

DylanFan

heh ya. thanks for the read

__________________
In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
~Bob Dylan~

Vasque

Nice writing. Great story.

__________________
~Vasque~

DylanFan

thanks

__________________
In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
~Bob Dylan~