FootballStar20

(Verse 1)
You lie.
You steal.
You deal.
All with Jesus
hanging around your neck.

(Pre-Chorus)
You put up a strong front on Sundays
and throw it all away on Fridays.

(Chorus)
Sin is the easiest way
to mend a broken path.
But if you must choose that road
do so with a true image of yourself.
Don’t lie about what you are.

(Verse 2)
You fight.
You deprive.
You face the world
and all you love
with broken eyes
full of false faith.
All with Jesus
hanging around your neck.

(Pre-Chorus)
You put up a strong front on Sundays
and throw it all away on Fridays.

(Chorus)
Sin is the easiest way
to mend a broken path.
But if you must choose that road
do so with a true image of yourself.
Cause we see through all your lies.

(Bridge)
If you want the life
you try so hard to emulate
then show it.
Show it with your resolve.
Show it with your love.
Show it with your will.
Show who you are,
and not what you want.

(Chorus)
Sin is the easiest way
to mend a broken path.
But forgo the easy
and welcome the truth
brought from the difficult.

tekp

I really liked this

Nice work.

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FootballStar20

Thank you very much for the kind words.

tekp

No problemo

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Mystery

I like the idea of the song, I wrote something like this about 2 years ago, you phrased it better than me but it still needs some work, more "ugh" to it, if you catch my drift :/

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Imagine what you could do if you didn't require sleep... Now calculate all the hours you've lost so far with sleep, Insomnia ain't seeming so bad now is it?

revolutionlh1012

Very powerful meaning. i really like the chorus but i think the bridge could use some touch ups

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An' he just smoked my eyelids
An' punched my cigarette.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

FootballStar20

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'll consider them all when I revise it again later today.

k3ng

I see you rearranged it from the poetry forum. Nice work. I think it makes a good song.

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'In truth, those who cringed at the use of cliché were their own cliché.' - Ted Dekker in Saint

FootballStar20

I'm glad you feel that way k3ng.

I just revised it. I didn't do a whole lot differently. I changed the second chorus slightly to just offer change and show progression. I also fixed up the bridge so it would fit better with the rest of the song.