Monkey King

This song has been humming in my mind for years now. It's still not to where I want it but this is what I have so far. Any advice to get it closer to where it wants to be would be superb. Thanks.

Chorus
Hey diddle diddle – cat and a fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
Been beggin' above – for a girl to love
And I hope I find her soon

My friend Jack has his Jill
They're eternally climbing that hill
I think it would be such a thrill
To find a girl who truly will

Run and climb that hill with me
And tumble down so wild and free
No matter what the consequence – may be

Chorus
Little Jack Horner – sat in a corner
Eating he Christmas pie
Been sitting at home – once again alone
And it makes me want to cry

There have been a few times that I
Have felt like Georgie Pordgie puddin' pie
'Cause the girl I kiss decides to run 'n' cry
Without explaining her reasons why

That she had to run away
Leavin' me nothing to say
Hoping she'll come back someday

Bridge
Mary Mary quite contrary
Wouldn't date me cause I'm to hairy
Little boy blues come blow your horn
I'm left here feeling so forlorn

One night before I went to sleep
I saw this girl tending her sheep
I heard her voice and my heart did leap
Now I married to Little Bo Peep

Since I've come to this country side
And made this girl my blushing bride
My happiness has multiplied

Chorus
Jack and Jill went up the Hill
To fetch and pail of water
I've been search the land for what's in my hand
And I glad I finally caught her

__________________
Cut me some slack. I just found out that only I can prevent forest fires and that's a lot of pressure.

saintoflight

I like this first bit
to many ill's. i don't know the tune but it feels like there should be a "up" before "that". So it goes "They're eternally climbing up that hill".
I like this bit too only it should be "consequences"
"he" should be "his". One again i like it
um here the second last line seems to long. you could change "decides to" to "all" and "girl" to "girls". As in "'Cause the girls I kiss all run and cry". and "their reasons" also instead of "her"
I like this little bit
All very good
ok um "to fetch and pail of water" sounds awkward "and" should be "a". "search" should be "searching".
Anywho thats just what i reckon but i like your whole idea.