Bee_babe

There's More To Me

I know you think
I don't give a damn
about what you think
about what I am
I don't like to let on
that I have another side
One that's soft
and wants you to hold me tight

(Chorus) There's more to me
than what you see
I just want to let you know
There's more to me
than what you see
I want you to hold me and never let go
And finally
when you see
that I want to let you in
then you'll know
that there's more to me

I know you think
that I'm wild and insane
But maybe
you should look again
I want you to see
the real, true me
you'll find that I'm ready to open up
And until I get you
I wont give up

(Chorus x2)

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"It is better to have lived and loved than to never have lived at all."
-Some Dead Guy

JSuK

Nice song

I especially like the first four lines, would you have this bit sung quick and punchy?

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Songs I've written; One,Two,Three,Four,Five,5-10

Bee_babe

Thanks, I wrote it on my way to the beach yesterday, and I liked it, so I thought I'd test it out on the web. Again, thanks!

__________________
"It is better to have lived and loved than to never have lived at all."
-Some Dead Guy

save-the-panda's

If your going to attempt a over done topic, such as this, you need to have something in there that makes it stand out and sets it apart from the other umpteen droning songs out there.

There was nothing in this song that made it original and made me want to carry on reading.



Panda

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~~Panda~~

Bee_babe

gee... thanks. I don't give a crap if it's an over-done topic, I write down whatever comes to me, I can't really control it. Of course, my topic isn't as over-done as, say, sex, or break ups or just out-right love! I mean, there isn't a subject out there that someone hasn't already made a song about. What was I supposed to do, write a song about PEANUT BUTTER??!! All I did was write down my thoughts to a guy I REALLY like, is that so bad?

btw, it would have been typed: "an over-done topic", not "a over done topic"

__________________
"It is better to have lived and loved than to never have lived at all."
-Some Dead Guy

save-the-panda's

I gather you have posted these lyrics here for it to be critiqued, and that is what I have done.

Please don't get offended when someone gives their honest opinion, if you only want people to say good things about your work then I suggest you don't post at all.

Of course most/all subjects have been covered by songwriters but good lyrics stand out from the rest, and your lyrics do not I’m afraid.

Why do people feel the need to do this when someone has said something negative about their work come on! We’re not in the playground.

I do not want to start an argument, I have gave my honest opinion, like I do with all lyrics posted on here, if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen...

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~~Panda~~

Bee_babe

I apologize for that blow up yesterday. I was in a BAD mood, and I took it out on you. I'm REALLY sorry, I didn't mean to. I realize that I put my lyrics in to be commented on (good, or bad), and you DID give your honest opinion. Again, I'm sorry, please forgive me ?

__________________
"It is better to have lived and loved than to never have lived at all."
-Some Dead Guy

save-the-panda's

Of course, Forget all about it Bee babe

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~~Panda~~

Bee_babe

YAYA!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! I ca get pretty mean (as oyu can see) when I'm in a bad mood, lol.

__________________
"It is better to have lived and loved than to never have lived at all."
-Some Dead Guy

save-the-panda's

Don't we all! Lucky you didn't catch me on a bad day!

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~~Panda~~

Bee_babe

Lol, yeah

__________________
"It is better to have lived and loved than to never have lived at all."
-Some Dead Guy