thamior

This is my first song (3rd poem) in a series of direct religious poems that i'm doing. I have to work on the rhymes in the poems a little better because they seems a little immature, but I like the song.

Light shines down, on this holy place.
The house of God, is filled with grace.
None will trespass, all are welcome in.
To bathe in purity, to free them of sin.

Chorus:
and the face of God,
is left unseen.
Yet despite our wrong,
He is smiling.

Through our misery, he guides us in hand.
A stroke so gentle, Knowing we will understand.
He is the wisest, knowing all among us.
If we know not infinite, why, in him, can't we trust?

*chorus*

We torn around, and we try to run away.
But he is there, to keep us everyday.
Like so many thing in life, He can mean so much.
God is always with us, God is with us.

*chorus*
...He is smiling.

The bad grammer is accidentally intentional.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

Shy_Love

::claps:: It's super awesome!!! I love it!! I saw not one single thing wrong! Wonderful job!

thamior

thank you, I hope to be able to post more again and reveiw others I waited a couple of days and this forum was dead.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

save-the-panda's

It was a good write, nice song. However I never really get into songs and really enjoy them when they are purely about God.

From your previous posts I know that both of you are Christians, and I’m catholic myself, but from my experience most people who believe in god feel they have to like songs that are about God.

Don't get me wrong I do like some hymns, but songs about God do not amaze me any more, as most of them are the same and there’s only so much where you can go with them.

Just my 2p

Panda

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~~Panda~~

thamior

Indeed, I am just trying to do my part and that is writing poetry about God. I've learned that one great way to do ministry is to spread the message with your talents and I dont like to evangalize, so I try my hardest to incorporate God in most of my songs. Yet I kinda of felt pulled to do an entire series that is more obviously about Him, I don't expect people to just like it, thats why I posted it here, for reveiws so I can make it better. Thanks, I forgot to mention that.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

Shy_Love

I think there's TONS of awesome worship songs out there...personally..I hardly ever "get into" the old hymns...other then how great thou art...amazing grace...and I think like one other but I can't remember the name right now..

theres alot of more modern songs though that are wonderful things to lift up to God...
"I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and its all about You
it's all about You Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I made it
when it's all about you
it's all about you Jesus"

another one that really moves me is
"Let it rain, let it rain.
Open the floodgates of Heaven"
when my church plays those songs...the whole building shakes with noise (were a church that likes it loud and rockin!) and that one song...let it rain...bring me to tears every time...I think there's so man worship songs out there that can really move anyone...if you really want to lift something at all...

thamior

I agree, there are some great ones, but I wouldn't put mine on that list.

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Dark and Shattered Lands