Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Lyrics
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-30-2004, 04:57 PM   #1
Scribe
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 61
Corridor
First post, hello

I figure it's the first post so I might as well post my most recent song. I'm still unsure of the title however the song is along the theme of democracy breaking down and being plunged into a watery grave.


Left the Building

Bring your knives and forks
To the table
I’m waking up
To detuned radio’s
Living underwater
With no oxygen
Send out new orders
To be misunderstood

Chorus

Nobodies home
They left the building
No one’s home
They’ve sank it all

Send in the people
Dressed in white
To carry me away
Eyes on the table
Carve them up
Feed them to the children
I’m living under water
In a glass bubble
Send out the orders guaranteed
There will be trouble

Nobodies home
They left the building
No one’s home
They’ve sank it all

Standing upside down
In the corner of my eye
I see you
We try with all our might
To break out
And seep through the walls
We’re livin’ in a world
Underwater with no oxygen
Send out the orders
To be misunderstood

Nobodies home
They left the building
No one’s home
They’ve sank it all

We’ll float up
Corridor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 02:14 AM   #2
Best Seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting time
Gender: Female
Posts: 602
evadri
How do you do it? Is there a lot of effort involved, or do you sweat over every word for hours? Because your stuff is just really good. I love your imagery and phrasing and word usage. I really want to hear it sung, as most others who have commented on your stuff do. Keep writing.
__________________
'I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve.'

http://www.myspace.com/only_music
evadri is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 08:03 AM   #3
WF Supporter!
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver - Canada
Posts: 8,904
Penelope is an unknown quantity at this point
The image I got was a newsclip of the tsunami wave that engulfed a beach side restaurant. I found this to be rather depressing a thought but wanted you to know I took a look at it.
__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight
Penelope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 02:25 PM   #4
Scribe
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 61
Corridor
Mostly I’ll get an idea for a song then I put myself into a corner, I look for a perspective and then I write from it. The words seem to come naturally when I think about the overall melody altho I am very hard on myself and can spend an enormous amount of time developing one line until I usually find myself back to were I started, I love metaphors and meanings that are hidden and I try to be conservative with words, I find it's easier to say what you want to say when you use less wording. I like to ask myself a lot of questions, I think it helps me function as a writer. I'm never totally satisfied and I find it unusual when I receive praise so thanks for the feedback. Best advice I ever heard was don't think about things too much, don't try to find out where it comes from or it just might stop.
Corridor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2005, 10:59 PM   #5
Writer
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 43
bruno718
I like the theme. There's a lot to say about the last two "elections" in America. There's also a lot to say about the horrible two-party system here.

Don't stress over the title - it suits the song very well.

I like the first verse the best.
__________________
"WHAT???? The land of the free? Whoever told you that is your enemy!" - ZDLR
bruno718 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2005, 07:13 PM   #6
Wordsmith
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
thamior is an unknown quantity at this point
Send a message via AIM to thamior Send a message via MSN to thamior Send a message via Skype™ to thamior
its a nice song, it could use a little editing but i'm being over analytic its nice and I agree with you on how I write. Keep that going, if you have to sweat out every word it just isnt worth it
__________________

Dark and Shattered Lands
thamior is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:52 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers