thamior

I just kinda challenged myself to write a song on the spot so it may not be that great.

We need the reality,
The force is broke,
and we're free.
But the colors don't match,
And the dreams,
are of a diffrent batch.

I see the horses with wings.
I see the many diffrent things.
Winged beasts,
And with these,
but not in the least.
is me,
standin' here with you.

I wonder how long it'll last,
How long's forever,
But everything swings too fast.
And I know that realities gone,
That i'm livin' a dream,
Singin' a diffrent song.

I see the horses with wings.
I see the many diffrent things.
Winged beasts,
And with these,
but not in the least.
is me,
standin' here with you.

And among the rainbows in the sky,
The elves on the ground,
In this world were men can fly.
This world of fantasy,
We would love forever,
just you and me. (i know its bad grammer)

I see the horses with wings.
I see the many diffrent things.
Winged beasts,
And with these,
but not in the least.
is me,
standin' here with you.

We need to break the fantasy,
i'm getting stuck here,
Not willing to live and see.
As long as i'd be here with you,
but its dangerous,
and its something I can't do.

I see the horses with wings.
I see the many diffrent things.
Winged beasts,
And with these,
but not in the least.
is me,
standin' here with you.

__________________

Dark and Shattered Lands

mammamaia

lyric writing is an art... a specialized craft... like painting and sculpture, it can't be done well in an instant... if you already recognize that this isn't great, why post it?... why not learn the basics of the craft, then polish your work before risking the criticism of those who may know a good lyric from a poor one?

this has the potential to be a good lyric... i hope you'll take the time to learn how to perfect it...

i'm a former member of the SGA [songwriters guild of america] and am wont to be more critical than most, so i hope you'll take this in the caring spirit it's meant...

love and hugs, maia

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riadohaed

yea dude im a former member of the BSWEC (best song writers ever club) and i think its kick ass your challenging yourself to write on the spot b/c it forces you to create and sometimes can inspire great ideas! on the other hand... revising is good, yet this post was not about revising but how good a on the spot song could be a true sign of talent

thamior

well i've had good ones, but if you dont like on the spot songs eh, but I do understand planning it out i'm, just not that type. Mine are either good or bad, im still learning.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

Mystery

laff, no lyricism(update your vocabulary) is not an art, its a gift that very many people posses.

GOOD lyricism is a gift that very few posses,
Anything can be done in an instant my friend, you just need to have the talent.
You dont need to spend days to write a good piece of material, you just need to let your emotions go and write about something you actually want to, not something stereotyped that you only think about it for long because you want it to be different from the other 2.6 billion songs like it.

Lyrics are like art, its can be made on the spot, thinking too much about it can make you do worse.

AS for the actualy song, its nice, but its got no meaning, you pull of the point of it in the chorus and from verse to verse.

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Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...

Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...

Yes, must still shut up.

Mystery

Never confuse challenge with test
Writing on the spot is neither, writing on the spot is release or freedom, take your pic.

__________________
Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...

Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...

Yes, must still shut up.