HerHero

Without You

Amazing, it's true
Again, I've dissapointed you
How do you live with me
Another life to take and forget
You know
That I'm in love

(Chorus)
Without you
I miss you
With you
I kiss you
Love me
I love you

Forever, it's near
Today, I've pushed from here
Why do you come back
This time was never in cased from you
I know
You are in love

Hiding, the truth
Subsiding, the pain I found in you
Can't you see my eyes
The suffering I look at you
They know
This is love

(Outro)
See, I've known all along
we are in love

You guys like it? Please critisize (in the nicest possible way lol)

__________________
"..so here's a song about the best day i ever had..."
---
artsy: http://sorryaboutyourheart.cjb.net
release: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=...le_heart_break
---
mom. dad. i'm....emo **gasp**

Demiurgos

I believe that "You" is being to much utilized in this manner in song lyrics (and not just there). It has lost all of its meaning and became shallow; because it denotes not a person anymore, but more of a lifeless reference. This song may be sincere or not, I don't know that anymore because of the standard form issue. Why not trying to descript emotions directing them to a different non-I object then this usual. Take the places, periods of life, dreams, events, history...for example witch you can use to integrate the emotion with. I think the work will have a greater chance in becoming fulfilled and original.

I cannot tell if I like or dislike the song, it's far to distant from any (to me) relative point in this form. This is clearly a personal opinion of mine, but I believe that some of this advices are worth of consideration.