The Garden Inside My Head - Writers Forum

brockDXD · 10-16-2004, 01:54 AM

Hey, im a new member to these forums.. didn't post in 'introduce yourself' but here is my introduction. Some lyrics i wrote a few days ago. Enjoy. Or not, either way, here they are.

Looking through the window at the darkness that's growing darker
And it seems that im looking at the darkness whichs grows in ME
Forever getting blacker,
It's the world and it is ME
'Not strong enough to welcome light
not strong enough to tell the truth
only strong enough to wanna fight
Don't wanna fight and i dont want YOU'

Raining in my head but i can feel the brightness shining through
She doesnt know, but thats what she does. Who needs the umbrella
when i've got her?
It doesn't matter that its all in my head
and i dont care for reality and for the things i haven't said
because in the place that was growing darker i can also see a garden
and in the garden is a bed and in the bed
lies us together
Too bad that it's all in my head
the Garden inside my head

thamior · 10-16-2004, 09:26 AM

I dont know, I like longer songs, and I couldnt get a feeling for it. I think if you tried to extend it you could do well.

brockDXD · 10-16-2004, 09:30 AM

yeah, i usually think of a nice line or two, and if i try to make a complete song/poem out of it i ruin it. So most of my poetry goes unfinished, but its all good, i just write to get things out of my system.

thamior · 10-16-2004, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brockDXD

yeah, i usually think of a nice line or two, and if i try to make a complete song/poem out of it i ruin it. So most of my poetry goes unfinished, but its all good, i just write to get things out of my system.

I know that feeling, but it feels so much better to complete something and look at it later. But do what you want.

D4rk_3|f · 10-16-2004, 08:05 PM

Print it out and put it aside. Then in a weeks time read it again and try finish it. I think its good but its fustrating without an ending if you know what I mean.
thats wot I think mate.

Cheers