thamior

This songs title doesnt actually match why i wrote it because it was actually written about how i felt when my mom died almost 6 years ago when i was 10. In anycase I felt sad but I also felt angry, but i guess some of the song was also just anger i feel every now and then because of the people of this world who dont seem to care about so many things hence its title.

Rainin' Down my vengence.
No one get in my way.
I think i'll take my chance.
I'll do anything today.

I know revenge is a sin.
That enemies may become friends.
That i'll get less outta harmin'
That nothin justifies the end.

Chorus:

But its so hard to control my anger.
So hard to control oneself.
So hard to hold in tight when releasin feels much safer.
too hard to get a grip on myself.

I could let out my fury, feirce as a storm.
Be as violent as a hurricane.
To act out or hold in I feel so torn.
Anger is a gift and a dangerous bane.

Do I lash out at my enemies, defendin my pride?
Or do I take hummility and hold it all back?
The longer I hold it the more pain I feel inside.
But if I release it in someway it'll remain intact.

[repeat chorus]

Lash out against them?
Or suffer a defeat?
I'll lose all the same.
I lay my mercy at God's feet.
[repeat twice]

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Dark and Shattered Lands

Zandarielle

I don't know exactly how you felt when your mom died but I remember being there and I felt the pain and sadness of your loss...I know not as much as you.I like this song but it hurts...

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I took you to the apex of a maelstrom and asked you if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize my ticket wasnt for two....I rode alone.

penny

Good job.
This one of the songs I have read of yours knocks me out for emotional impact. It all rings really true.
I might suggest you try something, if not on this song then on another. You dont have to rhyme each line try every other or none at all. Instead let the beat carry it. Sometimes when the lyric story is as important as this song conveys-rhyming can hinder what needs to be said.
Try it on another - I like this one the way it is.
Penny

__________________
It took a disease, taking my mobility from me to see further and clearer than when I could take that trip and see nothing. My spirit grows beyond my body. I am new again in this discovery of my internal landscape and its meanings.

thamior

yes I know, but i figure I should be consistent. rhyme or dont rhyme. thats why i rhymed the entire song.

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Dark and Shattered Lands

penny

I bow to the guru.Keep them coming!

__________________
It took a disease, taking my mobility from me to see further and clearer than when I could take that trip and see nothing. My spirit grows beyond my body. I am new again in this discovery of my internal landscape and its meanings.