Selorian

Here is one of my first attempts at writing lyrics. Would love to hear your thoughts and any advice you may have. Thanks.


The Rock


Out there at the lake
There's a loving spot
Where young lovers go
When things start to get hot

There they etch their love
In the talking stone
So they always remember
The way their love has grown

Chorus:
Love written in stone
Names held by a lock
Hearts captured forever
At the lake on the rock


Starts out as young love
But it grows into more
As they carve it in time
Like couples from before

Tightly they hold hands
Beneath the moonlight
Knowing they become one
When in the stone they write

Chorus:
Love written in stone
Names held by a lock
Hearts captured forever
At the lake on the rock


Nothing can come close
To showing love is true
If it was meant to be
It was the rock that knew

The rock tells the tale
Of love from its start
Holds it forever
As they do each others hearts


___

thamior

I like it, Ican see exactly what your trying to express. your rhyme scheme is consitent and it flows nicely.

__________________

Dark and Shattered Lands

Selorian

Thanks for the positive comments. I was at the lake one day and noticed all the names carved into the rocks. There was one that was dated sometime in the 70's with a guy and girls initials. That was the inspiration for it. That was probably the second time that I ever wrote lyrics and had put it up someplace for many years. I just came across it and decided to post it.

LindyM

Does this have music, too? Just curious what it might sound like.

Thanks.


Lindy

penny

Just good stuff.
I would like to hear the music. I tend to add beats to the chorus when I read it. Longer lines maybe? That way the chorus would be dynamic-different from the verse in timing.
If you did this years ago...keep doing it.
Thanks

__________________
It took a disease, taking my mobility from me to see further and clearer than when I could take that trip and see nothing. My spirit grows beyond my body. I am new again in this discovery of my internal landscape and its meanings.

Selorian

I'm not very good at the music part so no it doesn't have any music to it. I have an idea in my head of how it should sound but wouldn't begin to know how to explain it. If anybody has an ideal on that I would love to know.

Penny, that is a very good suggestion about the chorus. I will try to work on it and change it up some. And thanks for the positive comments. It has been years since I have written any lyrics but after coming across this again though I thought that I may try my hand at it again.

__________
*Angels touch us through writing, meditation, the kindness of strangers, or words of wisdom spoken by friends.