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Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

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Old 07-09-2004, 11:57 AM   #1
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Hip hop/rap/alternate music style

These I've written for a rap like album 2 of my friends and I are trying to piece together, just getting oppinions, I've written all the songs with assistance, their not in their final form.

Freefall (cover song):

Sometimes in your life you find yourself in a position
Where you gotta make a decision
That could end up somewhere you cant understand
You can go from everything to anything
From a superhero to an alien being
If you make a mistake your gone your out of the game
I know its kinda lame
It drives you insane
But that’s just how life is, if you screw up its over, all gone
IF you aren’t fast enough your done
Life will get you
IF you survive you one of the lucky few

It’s a freefall,
If you turn this corner, if you take this turn
It’s a freefall
If you slip away, lets yourself go up in flames and burn
It’s a freefall
Life’s not a joyride, get over it already
It’s a freefall
You just gotta deal with it, seriously..
Freefall…..

Now if you decide to just give up
Cuz you think your outa luck
You better look again, you see it’s a common mistake
To think that what you got is fake
Realise you got more than most, and that’s allot, more than you believe
Your dreams only deceive
What you try to conceive
Your not all alone in the end
So don’t let it go, keep trying, don’t bend
Stand tall and be who you truly are don’t let anyone stop you
From letting out what’s in you, what’s true

It’s a freefall,
If you turn this corner, if you take this turn
It’s a freefall
If you slip away, lets yourself go up in flames and burn
It’s a freefall
Life’s not a joyride, get over it already
It’s a freefall
You just gotta deal with it, seriously..
Freefall…..

Don’t Let yourself fall, just keep spilling whats you think is true
Don’t let anything affect you
Give these opticians whats dew
Keep showing people who’s right and who’s wrong
It may take long
It may be wrong
But in the end you realise that all your effort goes through,
Luckily you didn’t let go
You didn’t stay low
You didn’t let yourself be forgotten
You didn’t let your goals become rotten
You didn’t take the freefall
And you you got it all

It’s a freefall,
If you turn this corner, if you take this turn
It’s a freefall
If you slip away, lets yourself go up in flames and burn
It’s a freefall
Life’s not a joyride, get over it already
It’s a freefall
You just gotta deal with it, seriously..
Freefall…..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I choose:

If I just choose to ignore everything
Will I wake up without anything
If I choose to face my fears
Will it bring me down to tears?
It’s leading me into a dark without end
Will I find a way back to light that god sent?
Or will I lose my self in infinity
Will I still be bound to pain for eternity

I cant feel anything anymore
I just don’t know what im fighting for
I cant bare to see anyone else
I have gotta save me from myself
I cant sit alone in the rain
I cant let myself be consumed by pain

I cant live a life of ignorance
But I cant sleep with repentance
I will never find my way home
Because in this fight im all alone
Im stuck with no memory
On the brink of insanity
I forgotten everything I once was
And now im alone again Cause..

I cant feel anything anymore
I just don’t know what im fighting for
I cant bare to see anyone else
I have gotta save me from myself
I cant sit alone in the rain
I cant let myself be consumed by pain

Im standing alone in a crowd of forgotten people I never knew
And all I wanna do is shout out a single last word “how?”
Im trying to open my mouth and screw that it’s a lie not true
But nothing comes out, such a punishment how foul


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re-Run

They say the history repeats itself,
Over and over again
But when people act do they bother
To see if there’s any gain?
Is it sain? Or is it insane?
To play your actions like life’s a game.
When you repeat the same mistake
And fake’s
To fumble over the same thing
Isn’t there a bell in your head, no ring?
That wakes you up, to not repeat
The same deceit
The same pressure and heat
Of doing something stupid, then being cauhught
You ought,
To pay heed to your actions
It’s like an infection
The stupidity spreads, abusing your rights
Just remember, you only get 3 striker

*refrain*
It’s like a re-run
When the series repeat
People wind up on the same street
You know what their gonna do
Cuz it’s a re-run
How things go thought again and again
Completely to the end
It’s like you got nothing ot fend
Yourself
From doing the same mistakes, its no fun
Cuz you done if before, you know the outcome
Cuz it’s a re-run
*refrain*

Now I aint gonna say
That im perfects, that’s gay
Cuz I’ve done the same mistake,
Trusted the same fake,
Promise…
Yet I wrote and listened to this
And I learned I just cant hiss
Every time I repeat idiocy
Is like not being sneaky in democracy
You’ll lose over and over, your just feeding
Them what your truly feeling
But that still isn’t redeeming
The constant repetition
Of the same wrong descition
Its time to see straight
No more love then hate
This time we wont make the same error
Then hit the floor
As you realise what you gone and done
This time there’s no re-run

*refrain*

No there’s one mistake I’ve made
And that’s trusting anybody
Well, gee-golly
I guess I’m a shithead
But I’m gonna warn you, so you don’t get fed
These words of love or promise that aren’t true
Handshakes sing and symbols
Their all fables
Fake but when you’re young and dumb
You believe that these things will actually come
It’s time to grow to maturity
Its time to hit puberty
Wake up,
What’s up,
Stop the crap and look straight
Watch out duck,
***k you just got hit
Cause you did the same thing again
This time restrain
From the re-run

*refrain*


These are 3 of the 14-18 songs, the rest are on my notepad

Opinions/suggestions/critisism
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Old 07-09-2004, 01:34 PM   #2
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...
...
...
...these are terrible.

Not terrible for the lyrics they are, but as rap lyrics they suck. Is this a rock/rap amalgam, or is this straight hip hop. Because I can understand it if there are rock elements in it. But as a straight rap song, you need much much more practice. The flow is sloppy and you ignore the bar structure. Go back to the lab and practice.

However, if this is not a true rap song, then you can pull it off. If it's some sort of alternate rock or even punk, it can work. Because the lyrics themselves are alright, just as a rap song they don't work because they do not flow right. To give you the benefit of the doubt I tried to read it over an instrumental. Guess what happened?

Anyway, keep writing.
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Old 07-10-2004, 04:27 PM   #3
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I quote the title

"rap/hip hop/alternative STYLE"

Yeah its not straight rap, it's ment to be altrernate/rock/punk/goth/hip hop elements mixed.

It wont work with any instrumental, i wrote them all acapella, but I've made my own rytm/beats for it, very few current instrumentals will actually work with it.
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Old 07-10-2004, 04:37 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rashadow
...
...
...
...these are terrible.

Not terrible for the lyrics they are, but as rap lyrics they suck. Is this a rock/rap amalgam, or is this straight hip hop. Because I can understand it if there are rock elements in it. But as a straight rap song, you need much much more practice. The flow is sloppy and you ignore the bar structure. Go back to the lab and practice.

However, if this is not a true rap song, then you can pull it off. If it's some sort of alternate rock or even punk, it can work. Because the lyrics themselves are alright, just as a rap song they don't work because they do not flow right. To give you the benefit of the doubt I tried to read it over an instrumental. Guess what happened?

Anyway, keep writing.
Could you show me how you would formulate some of these lyrics into wrap, and give me an example of flow-to-beat?
I'm good at rap but I find that i need myself to try very hard, and when words for rap formulate in my head they just seem to fade away too fast,

What i just tried is rapping out of my mind, i kept going on only with slight pauses for rhyming, and sometimes the words for rhymes just came to me, i had the 8 mile-follow into- Till i collapse instrumentals playing btw
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Old 07-10-2004, 08:40 PM   #5
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Almost all hip hop is patterned on a bar structure. A bar consists of one line. There is normally 3 verses consisting of sixteen bars each. And a hook or chourus of about 8 bars. Either 8 bars all together or 4 bars repeated twice. I will tell you more later, I gotta go right now.
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:21 PM   #6
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Just check out a lot of your favorite
rap artists, and suss out how they
write their lyrics.
Check their lyrics out on the net.
That's what I do....

All the best.....Mouse...
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:28 PM   #7
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http://www.lyrics.com/
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Old 07-11-2004, 05:47 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouse
Thx allot, thestuff shadow said is too complex for my small brain
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Old 07-11-2004, 06:19 AM   #9
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What I’m saying

What I’m saying is not what people are paying me too but its what I feel is true so now I’m on my knees and praying
For people to understand I wont go under a hand I wont be obligated just so that I lie in my songs and be completely hated by all of my fans
I just wish that people could just try to keep it simple and not judge me for who I am
Or what I can
Cuz sometimes it’s painful because nothing I do is useful enough for them to see that I’m talking about reality
I’m never gonna stop singing, till I die, what I’m feeling what I’m standing by
I’m never gonna let them change me, even if they put me down and chain me
I’ll always keep going on about everything I see in the world and’s wrong
Somebody had to anyway somebody had to step forward and say
Someone had to keep trying to pray somebody had to stay going his way
And try to pick up and spray with a paint can what his fighting at bay
So till I fall down flat on my face and somebody new takes me out of the race
Till I cant keep with the pace, until my own death or my leave I have to embrace

Refrain

I’ll keep saying what I’m saying cuz what I’m saying
Is what no one else will say cuz they fear in their hearts in dismay
That they’ll be pushed away by people who don’t believe
That they’ve hidden and deceived the hate inside their trying to relieve
That their making big mistakes that their errors aren’t small little flakes
Of snow now its time for them to go and throw away
Their masks they use to hide away their tasks
That burn up their emotional flasks and makes them knows in what emotion they bask

Refrain

Now I don’t want you to think that I think and believe I’m better cuz I’m on the brink of understanding how people deceive
Others to believe that they don’t feel how they say that what they think is real they just wanna kill everything that annoys them or fills
Them with something they don’t like so now they gotta try to fight the flight of the raceist comments that’s thrown in their sight
Why does everyone have to discriminate and hate other that were born different by fate
Or are in an inconvienient state
I just believe that I can’t stop cuz what I’m saying is hot to finding the pot of gold
Which will hold
All the good feelings from Pandora’s box and it wont be sealed with lock it wont have to open if only I do its biddings
Then we could all finaly be friends but that still all depends on the human indifference
Or the faulted common sense
I just wish what I’m saying could go through and bring out whats true in what I feel in whats wrong what im saying through this song

refrain


I re read the "Till I collapse" lyrics and got the beat so I wrote this, it follows the 16 bar verse structure along with the 8 bar chorus structure.
What do you think now?
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