Some comments... - Writers Forum

Mystery · 07-09-2004, 11:45 AM

You

I hate the way you look at me
And I stare back in controversy
But inside I just want to look away
Inside my feelings have got to stay
Because I can only feel forgotten
The time the pain, I feel my heart is rotting

*refrain*
So stop it here and now
I cant be in the same room as you
And cant breath the same air as you
I can hardly make myself look at you
Because it fills me up with pain
The sight of you[the strain]
The memory’
I feel it’s a faked destiny
*refrain*

Every time I talk to you
I feel my heart burn, im a fool
To believe my love can be repaid
To accept my pain I was trained
I learned that what goes around,
Comes around
So to this Love and pain I am forever bound

*refrain*
So stop it here and now
I cant be un the same room as you
And cant breath the same air as you
I can hardly make myself look at you
Because it feel me up with pain
The sight of you[the strain]
The memor
I feel it’s a faked destiby
*refrain*

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Each song has a story behind it, I wrote this because of someone i lost(yes a girl) I didnt lose her because I did something wrong, or because somewhere we didnt want to be with each other....I lost her because I put my trust in her, yes a strange coincidence. I trusted her with everything, and the minute I believed her she lied to me.....

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Phoenix Fire:

So many people seem to say
That they can’t find the way
To express what they feel
Yet here that is not the case
It doesn’t scratch the base
How easy I can say, what I feel
Every time you walk into a room
I feel I’m burning to my doom
[With the passion that’s inside]

*refrain*
It’s like phoenix fire
Only got one desire
Like dying and being born again
Like relieving the strain(x2)
*refrain*

It is letting my heart out in this line
I hope you realise, in time
Just how much I care
I am trying to do what they only see in digits
Expressing what I feel through my lyrics
To some people its like falling down steps
To me its like being a king in chess
Infinite power for a turn to come
But one wrong move, an arrow with a hum
Can hit me and everything is lost.

*refrain*
Its like phoenix fire
Only got one desire
Like dying and being born again
Like relieving the strain(x2)
*refrain*

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Yet again the story of the song, I wrote this for the same girl I lost, I wanted to show her I was truly in Love, i was trying to show her i could still love her....

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Please don’t go:

I wish somebody knew what its like
To be all alone
To have this tone
To fear your love is truly gone

I hope somebody will understand
The pain im feeling
And in time im falling
To a place where I can’t find myself again

Everything looks so plain now
It’s like I’ve lost every feeling, its true
That I need nothing but you
Yet without you am I supposed to live? How?
[so please don’t go]

If only you could feel
How love is feeding
And I am bleeding
As it bites away my soul

If only you could see in me
That I love you
And nothing else can do
The damage that you have done to me

Everything looks so plain now
It’s like I’ve lost every feeling, its true
That I need nothing but you
Yet without you am I supposed to live? How?
[so please don’t go]

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This is how the trilogy of song's end, i tried to show her yet again what I felt and am still feeling....

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Mouse · 07-10-2004, 10:02 PM

Nice stories, I can't wait to hear the
finished versions...

Cool....Mouse.

Mystery · 07-11-2004, 05:44 AM

I've finished all the songs, I'm now looking for recording rights

All I have to figure out is which songs are gonna change to rythm and beat for rap....

If I choose:

If I just choose to ignore everything
Will I wake up without anything
If I choose to face my fears
Will it bring me down to tears?
It’s leading me into a dark without end
Will I find a way back to light that god sent?
Or will I lose my self in infinity
Will I still be bound to pain for eternity

I cant feel anything anymore
I just don’t know what im fighting for
I cant bare to see anyone else
I have gotta save me from myself
I cant sit alone in the rain
I cant let myself be consumed by pain

I cant live a life of ignorance
But I cant sleep with repentance
I will never find my way home
Because in this fight im all alone
Im stuck with no memory
On the brink of insanity
I forgotten everything I once was
And now im alone again Cause..

I cant feel anything anymore
I just don’t know what im fighting for
I cant bare to see anyone else
I have gotta save me from myself
I cant sit alone in the rain
I cant let myself be consumed by pain

Im standing alone in a crowd of forgotten people I never knew
And all I wanna do is shout out a single last word “how?”
Im trying to open my mouth and screw that it’s a lie not true
But nothing comes out, such a punishment how foul

End of the story

penny · 07-26-2004, 11:56 PM

I liked the reference to Pheonix Fire. To me it's an economy to word/thought. How can I say it as simply as I can and still get to the listener how complex it is?
'If I choose' is a well written piece. You like words and connect with them, it seems to me, when you have some time to reflect on your emotions. The style now days is to thrash out loud with raw feelings, cool sometimes, but in the end well thought out songs that get real deep/clear and speak to whoever is listening - is the song that, I think, matters...willy nelson verses limb bisquit...any odds on who will be remembered 20 years from now as a songwriter... or choose anyone in any genre you wish

For me ,it's just about writing the best song I can write 1 in 10 might be OK!! It's good work we do.
A dreamed a lovely young girl is heading your way to break your heart anew and have more great songs come roaring forth. Just kidding she is wonderful and will love you forever and you will end up a success writing fantastic love songs.
Thanks,
Penny

Mystery · 07-27-2004, 06:51 AM

Shy_Love · 07-27-2004, 09:01 AM

I llike these alot....I see nothing wrong with any of them! Keep on writing!

Mystery · 07-27-2004, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystery

:>