Mouse

Copyright Date
16 Feb 2004
Content
This songs 'bout been stuck in traffic
every bloomin' day..
(C) realmouse2003 Ideas appreciated..

V1
Backed up in traffic moving slow
All I want to do is make it home on time
I guess that ain't going to happen today (no)
So I'll bide my time and go with the flow

pre ch.
Sometimes I lose it
Sometimes I don't
Sometimes I listen to what
my mind keeps telling me

CH:
Stay Cool calm collected,
Cool as can be,
Calm as ripples on the sea
Turn on the radio
Let the music take control,
Let it soothe your soul .

V2
Suns piercing through my skin
I'm sweat soaked to the brim
My ole AC's broken down again,
I feel my patience wearing thin

Pre ch
Sometimes I go crazy
Sometimes I don't
Sometimes I listen to what
my mind keeps telling me

CH: Stay Cool calm collected,
Cool as can be,
Calm as ripples on the sea
Turn on the radio
Let the music take control,
Let it soothe your soul .


Solo..

Bridge
I feel a song coming on,
I just can't find the words,
to describe, how I'm feeling,
First things first,
I've got to settle down,
Gotta concentrate on getting home,
I have to be,

CH: Cool calm collected,
Cool as can be,
Calm as ripples on the sea
Turn on the radio
Let the music take control,
Let it soothe your soul .

__________________
It"s just a phase

nae411

How can this song be anything but cool, calm and collective, when it has been written by the coolest guy around?

Great job.

Nae

__________________

Kermie04

I really enjoyed that! Nothing to critique, since I thought you did a fabulous job!

__________________
Love,
Kermie04

penny

You have a good feel for poetry. I liked the whole idea of this one. I feel a bit petty bringing anything up. I just think this has the making of a good song with a little more effort. I sense that words come easy to you...if I'm right explore a little deeper.
'let it soothe your soul' rings a little trite in my minds ear and it is the hook. The broken AC is true and funny and a personal conversation with the listener. As is- make it home on time. Expand the prose that speaks to the listener as an active participant in the process. I was told by an old songsmith years ago to get outta my head and into my heart...I'm still working on it.
Penny

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It took a disease, taking my mobility from me to see further and clearer than when I could take that trip and see nothing. My spirit grows beyond my body. I am new again in this discovery of my internal landscape and its meanings.