Thread: My first song...ever. a lullaby

So I am writing a Fantasy story of a Young elf and a hatchling dragon. The elf loves music, and sings to the newly hatched dragon.
So I decided to write a simple elven lullaby song to the elf by her human nanny. (thats why its in english rather then me try to write a song in a made up language.)

So here it is, it is no master piece and has no music.
Oh, yea. katinar is kitten in Elven, and what the nanny and her mother called her.

Melima’s Lullaby

Sleep, katinar, Sleep
The unicorns frolic in the prairie
Their soft coat is white as sleet.
Dancing in moonlight so merry
Sleep, katinar, sleep

Sleep, katinar, sleep
Listen to the music of the faun
Playing while their kin do meet
As they rest upon the lawn.
Sleep, katinar, sleep

Sleep, katinar, sleep
All woodland creatures lay to rest
Laying silent without a peep.
Dreaming of play at its best
Sleep, katinar, sleep

Sleep, katinar, sleep
Pixies over katinar do hover
Thy rest Tiata* does keep
Flitting about with their lover
Sleep Katinar sleep.
Sleep now, katinar, sleep

(*Tiata is the Elven god they worship)

(It isn't a big deal, I only use the first set, but if published I would probably include it all in the back of the book.)

written in the form used in this song: http://www.lullaby-link.com/sleep-baby-sleep.html

Pleasant and peaceful as a lullaby should be, though the first verse seems a bit lively, with merry frolics. But I suppose babies don't understand and actually get the most blood curdling tales sung to them in soft voices. I do think it should be 'on the prairie' rather than 'in the prairie' though.

Pretty good, it sounds like a nursery rhyme.

i do like it and indeed most things elvish or mythical. it does feel like a nursery rhyme - very much so

Not Bad! Now you just need a melodic melody to go with it. Maybe some harmony? A round? For a first song that's pretty good. I hope your book goes somewhere so I can read it, as I am into fantasy myself. I have my own fantasy series actually. The first book is written but there is a long way to go. Enough about me, Good job!

Overall, I like like. Very lullaby-like.

"white as sleet" has me baffled though, as I think of sleet as gray. Try rhymezone or a rhyming app for your phone.

An elf singing to a dragon.. awesome, I can imagine this with a harp playing in the background.