Thread: Some

An elevator lifting me
It's not her place
To kick me down
Then pick me up
Like nothing's changed

The memories
And sunshine spots
Can't designate
To what I felt
How I felt
So surely faced

With this pain and this rain
Guttering down on my hate
With this chain, oh today
Guttering down on my fate
You are killing me

Some give what they want
Some give what they can
Some give everything
They have to be with this

Some write letters to god
Some draw portaits of her
Some stand back and watch
As someone has such luck

With this pain and this rain
Guttering down on my hate
With this chain, oh today
Guttering down on my fate
You are killing me

Some love in fear
Some love in games
Some insecurity
Some violent themes

Violent themes

Hi Patrick

I don't write lyrics and I've no idea what to look for in critiquing but I like the words you write and would like to hear this with music. The only bit I had reservations about was the last two lines. I didn't get a sense of violent themes throughout, just pain, hurt and anger so those lines threw me a little.

But I liked the feel of the rest especially the first verse.

I mentioned violent themes because you're so hurt that it begins to feel like it's violence against you. Every word is hitting you like violence