Thread: Love song revision

So I'm writing up some lyrics for my girl. This is sort of my first song, but she is a very music oriented person. I'm wondering what I need to improve upon. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good morning, lovely// How did you sleep?// Do you want to make memories that we can keep today We can go fly kites// and eat ice cream// When I'm with you, lovely, I feel like a dream// and I might just fly Talking to you helps me through my day// I always feel needed when you tell me to stay, and I have to go// Have I mentioned that you're good at that? You're so adorable and so clever//Never leave, lovely// Stay with me forever I'm in love with that curl in your hair// that you always hate// and it's always there, like it's just for me I love walking with you and your beat up shoes// they are over-worn// and so abused// They are way too gritty// but you make them look so very pretty I love your eyes// their shade of green// And when they look into mine// I want to scream my joy Late at night I want to tuck you in// and hold your head until I see you again when the sun comes up After I fight off the monsters that keep you awake// with my warming hand, yours I will take when you go to bed You're so adorable and so clever//Goodnight my lovely// Stay happy forever ----------------------------------------------------------------------- As you have probably guessed, my pet name for her is "Lovely" so that is going to stay, you can see where I was going with this. Other than that, I want this to be perfect for her, and I need some help so I don't regret it later.

This is hard to read in this format and I am way to tired to try to make sense of it..... Very rough example below.... the number I placed is the meter. All lyrics are metered...... meter=beat=note This would be a nice place to start for now. ))


Good morning, lovely; how did you sleep?(9
Do you want to make memories (8
And that we can keep with us today (9
We can fly kites and eat ice cream(8

I actually tried adding proper line spaces several times, the post would not agree with me though. Sorry about the format.

Not sure why you had a format issue....Did you try going into advanced options ... or simply post this under the comment section here.... I really don't want to have to set this up in order to simply read it. At this point I don't even know if I like it or not.... let alone have any suggestions..You really should try again and don't just copy and paste but type it...as that might be the problem)