Thread: Chamber of Gas

An icy stare burns a hole in the wall
behind the bars of Chesapeake Prison
as Logan Lee spends his final hours
remembering vision after vision:
five bullets, two children, two dead,
his younger brother fleeing the scene,
the wrong fingerprints on the gun,
sirens, a black robe, final sentencing.

Chamber of gas, ender of all things
weapon of death hanging from puppet strings
with undiscerning fingers as your guide
you've been called to brush another life aside.

Lee makes his descent step after step
toward the room of impending doom
wrists and ankles bound in shackles,
mind bound by a thought that still looms:
through silence the guilty goes free
through silence the bystander will die
through silence the older serves the younger
through silence the younger will live the lie.

Chamber of gas, ender of all things
weapon of death hanging from puppet strings
with undiscerning fingers as your guide
you prepare to brush another life aside.

Standing there, seconds until he's consumed.
Door closed, it slowly seeps into the room.
Organs failing, eyes closing, a body falls.
Smoke clears, the mortuary receives a call.

Chamber of gas, ender of all things
weapon of death hanging from puppet strings
with undiscerning fingers as your guide
you've done your job, brushed another life aside.

With undiscerning fingers as your guide
you've done your job, brushed another life aside.

Da Prophecy, consider going through this and paring things down. Here's an example:

Chamber of gas, ends all things
death's weapon hangs from puppet strings
undiscerning fingers, as your guide
you brush another life aside.

By eliminating extra words, you give impact to those left. Also, when you sing them, you can maintain the rhythm by pausing in the right places -- again providing emphasis. And much easier to do than ramming too many words into a line.