Before You - Writers Forum

SparkyLT · 07-18-2008, 06:55 PM

For the Disturbed fans: done properly this should have a similar sound to Disturbed.

BEFORE YOU

Hah, hah,
I guess the truth will be out.
Hah, hah,
Guess I was living without
Hah, hah,
Yahh!
---
There was a time \ In my life
I thought I was alone
There was a time \ In my life
Thought I was \ Made of stone
Here is the reason \
For thinking that thought
Here is the reason \
I fell apart…
---
{soft}
You came into my life
With hope and with love
And you came into my life
Like an angel from above
---
{hard}
And then you \
You got inside of me
You tried to finish me
You tried to change exactly
What I’m standing for.
You almost tore apart
Last fragment of my heart
I can’t remember now
What there was before.
---
Now I’m…at a time
In my life…
There’s no \ Hope for the future
No \ Glimmer of starlight
Now I’m…at a time
In my life…
There’s no reason for being
As I \ Swing from the streetlight…
{Electric guitar solo}
---
And you \
You got inside of me
You went and finished me
You tried to change exactly
What I was standing for.
You finally tore apart
Last fragment of my heart
Can you remember now
What I was before?

Cold Twilight · 07-25-2008, 11:07 PM

I really like this a lot...unfortunately, I don't know "Disturbed", so I can't be sure if the loss of the rhythm I saw with the last two lines was on purpose...

This sounds wonderful in my head though!

Nefieslab · 07-26-2008, 07:49 AM

sounds exactly like Disturbed in my mind (kick ass band btw)! Great one Sparky!

SparkyLT · 07-26-2008, 11:23 AM

Thanks Twilight and Nefieslab. I've been listening to a lot of Disturbed lately, and this just sort of came out fully formed. Glad you like it.

ohdear · 08-11-2008, 11:34 AM

I like the chorus the best
says a lot about how life can be sometimes.

T.W. North · 08-15-2008, 09:21 PM

Actually it sounds more like Linkin Park, these days Disturbed is more about standing up than bitching about what someone has done to them. As for emulating another bands style, thats fine, but you shouldn't go out of your way to sound exactly the same, you need to add an element of you into it. The whole 'hah hah' thing is Damiens trademark, so you should never have included that anyway.

But basically? This sounds like every rapless nu-metal song ever.

SparkyLT · 08-15-2008, 09:27 PM

'hah hah' is Damien's trademark? I'll apologize if he has a complaint. I never knew.

And yes, I've been listening to the older Disturbed albums.

And thanks, ohdear Sorry I never noticed when you commented on this.

Damien. · 08-15-2008, 09:31 PM

What Damien? Me Damien? That's no trademark of mine. I thought I hijacked stuff and was random.

MUSKRAT!!!

SparkyLT · 08-15-2008, 09:34 PM

I will show how mature I am by not saying 'so there.'

Darn it Damien, you bring out the worst in me. What'd you do, do a search for your name being used in vain?

Damien. · 08-15-2008, 09:37 PM

Actually, I just haunt the New Posts button like... a smurf out of hell.

SparkyLT · 08-15-2008, 09:38 PM

Yeah, I do too, cept I'm more like a bat...

Damien. · 08-15-2008, 09:40 PM

You didn't get my reference?!?

I didn't really like these lyrics. I find relationship songs vastly overdone.

tristiano · 08-15-2008, 09:40 PM

Actually, I originally wrote "hah hah" to Damien long ago, it was picked up from me.

Is the "hah hah" maniacal laughter?

....BITCHEEES!

Damien. · 08-15-2008, 09:42 PM

Don't pull a Seven on us, dear.

WOMBATS!!!

Ok, srsly nao, backs to lyrics. I not hijack nice thread.

SparkyLT · 08-15-2008, 09:43 PM

Quote:

You didn't get my reference?!?

I didn't really like these lyrics. I find relationship songs vastly overdone.

Yess!!! I got it!! I'm just trying to keep my sanity intact. And I'm sorry you didn't like it. As I said, it sort of came out fully formed, and I bever bothered to edit it.