NOT COMING OUT - Writers Forum

SparkyLT · 07-12-2008, 12:12 PM

NOT COMING OUT

This path \

It’s winding \

Takes me further from myself

Every day

And this map \

You gave me \

It does nothing to direct me

To the right way

Cuz you lost me \

Lost me inside of you \

And now I've got \

Nothing left to say…

So now I close my eyes \

And I will try to find \

Myself \ Before I \

Completely drift away \

I’ve never been so dead \

So empty in my head \

And now I’m falling, following you

Because you said:

---

CHORUS:

“Don’t worry \

Just trust me \

You know I love you and would never hurt you \

Again ”

Well you just get lost \

You just can’t touch me now \

I've crawled down deep in me and \

I AM NOT COMING OUT

no I AM NOT COMING OUT

---

This night \

I’m trying \

To find all my beliefs and

Pull them back into me

This time \

I'll bind it \

I'll pack me so tightly you

Just will not see

But I'll be crying \

I'll always wonder \

Was it really you or

Dear god was it me?

For now I close my eyes \

And I still try to find \

Myself \ Before I \

Am no longer me \

I've never been so dead \

So empty in my head \

I’d like to blame you but

I listened when you said:

---

CHORUS

---

I'll be looking \

Over both my shoulders \

Looking just in case you’re \

Catching up to me

And just why can’t you see \

I just want to be me \

But when you’re around \

You are all I can see

And baby

You are all I can be…

(Don’t worry \

Just trust me \

You know I love you and)

I AM NOT COMING OUT

I love you sorry babe but

I AM NOT COMING OUT

terrib · 07-12-2008, 12:28 PM

Sparky.....that's your best work yet. Great Job!!!!!

SparkyLT · 07-12-2008, 12:33 PM

thanks, I appreciate it!

sammyjo · 07-12-2008, 01:20 PM

i really, really like this, great job!! xx

Jack Daniels · 07-13-2008, 08:40 AM

I really enjoyed reading this lyric. I can quite easily imagine this being a sung to some rock music.

Thanks for sharing.

SparkyLT · 07-19-2008, 01:30 PM

wow. I was NOT expecting such enthusiastic responses. thanks, guys!

Nefieslab · 07-19-2008, 03:35 PM

good lyrics. sounds LPish to me (to quote Mystery

) and that is a very good thing

good job

SparkyLT · 07-19-2008, 03:56 PM

comparison to linkin park?!?!?!? you have just made my day!

Nefieslab · 07-19-2008, 04:23 PM

ha, I'm glad Sparky

ohdear · 07-21-2008, 12:29 PM

yes, I love this
there are so many layers to it
it flows well
a great story to tell
I think it will sell

T.W. North · 07-22-2008, 02:38 AM

A comparison to LP's lyrics is basically an insult though - they are well known within the industry for having generic, angsty lyrics. Sure, they sell millions of lyrics and I myself enjoy them - but for the sole reason, because its angsty and I'm a teen. They are possibly the only band who will ever get away with it and they're (starting) to mature.

However, I will say this is some of the finest crafted angst lyrics I've come across for awhile, and thats a compliment.

tristiano · 07-22-2008, 06:44 PM

NOT COMING OUT
....of the closet

I think I made my point...
Haha! No I didn't, cause I didn't have one! Aha!

SparkyLT · 07-25-2008, 11:50 AM

not coming out of the closet? does that make me......the monster in the closet? RRRAAAHHHH!!! I'LL EAT YOU ALL!!! heh. and thanks...I think?...to T.W. North...I think...and everyone else.

Gnomes Amok · 07-25-2008, 02:18 PM

And this map \
You gave me \
It does nothing to direct me

Thats the only part of this thats worth a damn. Try a little harder for fucks sake, use critical thinking and ask yourself, what does it MEAN to crawl deep inside yourself, and then yell that you're not coming out? It means a few different things, but it doesn't mean anything inspiring or enlightening. It sit's stupidly on the surface and makes no effort to dig.

I just want to be me \
But when you’re around \
You are all I can see
You are all I can see
And baby
You are all I can be…

Is there no deeper, more imaginative, more visually descriptive way to capture the feeling of losing yourself inside someone else? I think of these words, close my eyes, and see nothing.

SparkyLT · 07-25-2008, 02:37 PM

Gnomes Amok... I'm sorry, but does everything I post here have to have a deep, hidden meaning that surely only I will know? You say, try a little harder, but I know that if try harder you're just going to tell me it's forced.

Do you know what it means to crawl down deep inside yourself, to prevent somoene else from engulfing you completely? If you do, why don't you write a song about it instead of just complaining that mine is meaningless, when it has plenty of meaning to me? If you've already written lyrics about this, please post it so I can read it. I'm sure it'll make no sense to me, just as this one makes none to you. And by the way, I don't expect my lyrics to be professional grade, and neither should you.

All I'm saying is, just in case you haven't figured it out yet, don't call someone else's work meaningless just because it has no meaning that you can see.