The Backward OX

Pepé and his compadre Luis become lost in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.
They are on the verge of just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when suddenly.....
"Hey Pepé, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I am sure of eet".
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, not too far ahead, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon,double smoked bacon......every kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

" Pepé, Pepé, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget".
"Pepé, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon....ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that....Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepé following some distance behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepé with his dying breath.
"Pepé....go back man, you were right, ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis, Luis, mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepé....ees not a bacon tree....

Ees....


Ees....


Ees...



Ees, a Ham Bush"

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Patrick Beverley

That is a darned funny joke.

The Backward OX

Thang you ver' much - whoops, wrong thread.

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Johnna

That made me burst out laughing. Clever.

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Zombie

Eh, it was okay.

I feel unsatisfied.

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howowiginal

I was wondering if the accent was ever going to come into play. Mind you it would have been just as funny, if not funnier, if it hadn't.

Out of interest, what's the first greatest?

The Backward OX

Oh me oh my. Comments about accent from a Suth Effrican?

Quick Suth Effrican joke - You know you're in Suth Effrica when you don't stop at a red robot, sorry, light, in case someone highjacks your car.

The first greatest? It's in another thread in this forum entitled "The greatest joke of our time". Be warned however that to get it you must have an innate understanding of the Amurrican accent, notably a short 'e' where you would use a long one. Oh, yes, and a long attention span.

ps
Second Suth Effrican joke.
Sign seen in Jo’burg hotel:

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ClancyBoy

Now for the most funniest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.
Bartender asks "what's with the wheel?"
Pirate goes, "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"

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"Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons wait for you down there. Little pets they are, little little little pets. Cute little things, they say. Don't you believe it. No man ever saw them and walked away alive. You won't either. That's the final dash, flash. That's the utter clobber, cobber." --Cordwainer Smith, Norstrillia.

howowiginal

Oh me oh my. THAT was unexpected. What the hell? Where is all this coming from? I hope my poor innocent comment wasn't the one to burst your little rain cloud of hate over my country. Honestly, I wasn't criticising your joke or anything. I did actually like it. I just meant the whole accent thing stood out until I saw it had a point. Before I thought it was just randomly added in but hey, I like random and I thought it would have worked just as well as a joke if the punchline didn't involve it at all. Lo and behold it did have a point and all my mindless wondering was put to rest. Christ, if I'd known you'd take it this badly I'd have kept it to myself.

Bit low of you to drag my nationality into it. Is it just me or are you harbouring some kind of latent rage at the whole lot of us?

The Backward OX

Sheeessh!

Bad case of thin-skinitis, have we? It wasn’t a “little rain cloud of hate”. If it had been, would I have referred you to the other thread, along with translation instructions?

As it happens I have a number of friends in ZA, in and around Johannesburg, and we regale each other constantly with accent- and nationality-based jokes. The public bar notice was sent to me by one of them.

Sorry if I ruffled your feathers. You have to get used to that sort of thing in electronic communication, where the aural and visual content of messages, which are far more telling than the words, are missing.

As it happens I was attracted to you by your avatar. Audrey H was once my heart-throb. Want to start again? I’ll even give you my fav potjie recipe as a kiss and make up gift.

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k3ng

now that's more like it.

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'In truth, those who cringed at the use of cliché were their own cliché.' - Ted Dekker in Saint

RedWine

They are both great

But they are not the funniest, this is!

Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute? A: Keep the tip.

howowiginal

Ah... well I feel rather foolish now, having since read the joke in question and had a bit of an aha moment... lee-ver vs leh-ver... mighty long attention span required indeed... I’m afraid all of that got completely lost in translation the first time.

See I thought it was you trying to have a go at us by very subtly implying people from ZA haz no brainz, immediately followed by a mad cry of "HE DID NOT!" and me whipping out my flag coloured umbrella.

Sorry to go all hen mother on your ass. I'll try to read between the lines a bit more carefully next time.

BlackWolf

That's just gross. By which I mean, I don't get it... honest...

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http://www.writersbeat.com

The Backward OX

Aha! Typical Aspie reaction. We tend to take things literally. You thought the leper was paying a tip as well as the "usual fee", didn't you?

Ok, the explanation....if you suffer from leprosy, parts of your body tend to disintegrate. Now....what part of a prostitute's customer's body might have been intimately, and busily, involved in this act between them? Is it possible that the overwork may have contributed to some disintegration?

Whoops! Of course I'm assuming here that you have an intimate knowledge of human male anatomy. Maybe I'll just quit while I'm ahead.

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